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JANE HORWITZ - FAMILY FILMGOER

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March 8, 2007

``The Ultimate Gift'' (PG, 1 hr., 57 min.)

A modern parable from Twentieth Century Fox's new faith-based arm, Fox Faith's ``The Ultimate Gift,'' unlike some other recent films in its genre, is well-acted by a first-rate cast. While it offers a subtly Christian message, it is a mild, not overtly theological one, so moviegoers 10 and older, whether Christian or not, will rarely feel preached at. However, there are sad moments in the film that may upset some grade-schoolers. ``The Ultimate Gift'' plays like the sort of tale shown on the ``The Hallmark Hall of Fame'': A spoiled 20-something trust-fund kid learns life lessons from his late grandfather, who leaves video chats and a series of instructions as part of his bequest. His ``lessons'' are old chestnuts -- find work you love; love your family; appreciate life; help people. Nothing new there, but the movie makes them fresh. The PG-rating encompasses a little smoking and drinking, rare mild profanity, references to drug abuse, a comic scene with an electric cattle prod, words such as ``mistress'' implying adultery among married characters, and themes about the death of a parent and loss of a child. There is a subplot showing the young hero trapped among South American drug thugs who brandish guns (and possibly a joint), hit him and hold him and a friend hostage in the jungle.

When spoiled brat Jason Stevens (Drew Fuller) comes to the reading of his late grandfather Red Stevens' (James Garner on video) will, he hopes against hope he'll get the lion's share of Red's huge fortune. But his granddad's friend and lawyer (wonderful Bill Cobbs) tells Jason he must first heed Red's video lectures and set off on a journey of personal growth. After Jason meets a single mom (Ali Hillis) and her precocious, sickly little girl (Abigail Breslin, from ``Little Miss Sunshine,'' R, 2006, whose fine work here cuts against the cliche of her character) he is changed forever.

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``300'' (R, 1 hr., 57 min.)

For once, a movie based on a popular graphic novel (by Frank Miller and Lynn Varley) finds its own cinematic language to reimagine that eye-filling, big-spirited art form. ``300'' works on almost every level. Even its narration and dialogue have the ring of ancient texts that feed the epic tone, despite a few giggle-inducing moments of hyper-grandiosity. High-schoolers ought to find it pretty stunning. The movie is violent, of course, in its imagining of the ancient Battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C., but director Zack Snyder has made it stylized and operatic. Every scene is computer-enhanced in myriad ways. (One wonders if those perfect washboard abs on the Spartan warriors were digitally buffed, as well.) There is plenty of gore -- beheadings, spears and daggers through the gut and the eye, horses cut down from under warriors. But because of the muted colors, the unreal look of the blood and the wall-to-wall effects, the movie has an otherworldly look that distances you from the violence. Even so, high-schoolers squeamish about screen mayhem will find it tough going. There is also a strongly implied rape scene, though the camera cuts away before it becomes graphic. The film includes a more explicit, though very stylized, sexual montage between Spartan King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and his Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey). There are scenes of back-view nudity and toplessness. The dialogue contains a few veiled homoerotic references and mild curses.

When a messenger from Persian emperor Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro, looking like a 10-foot tall punk rocker/drag queen hybrid -- the only character who doesn't live up to the film) demands surrender from the Greeks, Spartan King Leonidas shoves him down a well. Then Leonidas strategizes to trap the huge Persian army in a narrow pass at Thermopylae. Though the Spartans eventually lost the battle, it has been viewed through history as a blow for democracy against tyranny. With Queen Gorgo politicking back in Sparta to help Leonidas, and talking of the bloody cost of freedom, ``300'' has people debating its modern political implications.

P.S. FOR HIGH-SCHOOLERS: If you like the sound of the voice-over narration in ``300,'' the tone of the dialogue and the grandiose style of the battles scenes, you might really enjoy reading the ancient Greek historian, Herodotus. He described the Battle of Thermopylae in Book Seven of his ``Histories.'' If you find a good translation, you might be surprised how interesting it is to read one of the ``ancients'' directly, instead of an updated excerpt in a textbook.

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BEYOND THE RATINGS GAME

-- 8 AND OLDER:

``Bridge to Terabithia'' PG (Touching story (based on Katherine Paterson's 1977 novel) about a deep friendship between fifth-graders Jess (Josh Hutcherson), a budding artist from a rural family that largely ignores him, and Leslie (AnnaSophia Robb), a free-spirited daughter of wealthy writers; the two create their own fantasy world, Terabithia, in the woods, facing down bullies there and in the real world; film's gritty naturalism is marred by a charmless, computer-animated effort to visualize Terabithia. Under-8s may be spooked by swooping, furry vultures, giant trolls, armored attack squirrels, and a huge tree that turns into a troll (pretty cool, actually) in Terabithia; adults use mild profanity; kid-scuffles with bloodied noses; verbal references to a girl whose dad hits her; kids discuss religion; WARNING -- PLOT GIVEAWAY: Central theme in film's last act deals with grief and loss.)

-- 10 AND OLDER:

``The Ultimate Gift'' PG (NEW) (Cliched but very well-acted, enjoyable, ``Hallmark Hall of Fame''-ish parable (subtle Christian themes -- no theology, little preaching) about a spoiled 20-something trust-fund kid (Drew Fuller) who must listen to video life lessons from his late granddad (James Garner), then go off and learn to be a better man or lose his bequest; a single mom (Ali Hillis) and her sick daughter (Abigail Breslin) change his life. Brief smoking, drinking; rare mild profanity; references to drug abuse; comic scene with an electric cattle prod; implication of adultery among married characters; themes about loss of a parent, a child; subplot shows protagonist trapped among South American drug thugs with guns (and possibly a joint), who hit him, hold him hostage.)

``The Astronaut Farmer'' PG (Disappointing family film -- oddly inert, narratively disjointed, emotionally flat -- about a one-time astronaut named Farmer (Billy Bob Thornton) who left the space program before ever getting to leave the Earth; now a Texas rancher, he is determined to go up on his own and has built a rocket and space capsule in his barn; the FBI takes note after he buys high-grade fuel; they send an old astronaut buddy (Bruce Willis) to stop him with logic, then threats; he responds a bit like a survivalist crank. Occasional profanity, crude language; sexual innuendo; accident injuries; suicide themes, depression; grandparent dies; marital argument; beer.)

-- PG-13s:

``Wild Hogs'' (Slow to start, but ultimately amusing comedy about four middle-aged Cincinnati guys (Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence and William H. Macy) who toss their cell phones and go on a cross-country motorcycle trip; in New Mexico they face a ``real'' motorcycle gang (led by Ray Liotta). Too lewd to be a total family comedy; crude language; sexual innuendo -- much of it homophobic; gross toilet humor; considerable midrange profanity; comic fights, mayhem; skinny-dipping scene with a character naked from behind; condom joke; prolonged subplot about a gay state trooper (John C. McGinley) who nearly stalks the guys; free-for-all fight; drinking, smoking. OK for high-schoolers.)

``Ghost Rider'' (Glitzy, energized, if nonsensical fable (based on the Marvel comic) about stunt motorcyclist, Johnny Blaze (Nicolas Cage), who as a teen, sold his soul to Mephistopheles (Peter Fonda) to save his dad from illness; as an adult he tries to be good, rekindles a romance with his teen sweetheart, now a TV reporter (Eva Mendes) -- in hopes of negating his satanic deal; but the devil wants Johnny as his bounty hunter, chasing after a rogue demon, Blackheart (Wes Bentley), and his pals; at night Johnny is the Ghost Rider, ablaze on a superbike, trying to stop ordinary evildoers and Blackheart; a mysterious church caretaker (Sam Elliott) helps him. Fights; skull-faced demons; middling profanity; smoking; drinking; mild sexual innuendo.)

``Breach'' (Utterly gripping film meticulously recounts how the FBI in 2001 snared Robert Hanssen (Chris Cooper), a traitorous agent who, for more than 20 years, had been selling secrets to the Soviet Union, then Russia, under the noses of his FBI colleagues; Ryan Phillippe as agent-in-training Eric O'Neill, chosen to be Hanssen's clerk and keep him in the dark while a huge team (Laura Linney as a key agent) plots to catch Hanssen in the act. Steamy, though nonexplicit bedroom scenes; nongraphic references to Hanssen's sexual habits: videotaping ``rough'' sex with his wife, talk of his relationship with a stripper; crude sexual language; fairly strong profanity. More for high-schoolers.)

``Norbit'' (Crass, crude, politically incorrect but often funny farce celebrates Eddie Murphy's gift for playing wildly diverse, vivid characters under pounds of makeup; Norbit (Murphy), a milquetoast married to big, mean Rasputia (also Murphy), gains the gumption to stand up to her. Much sexual innuendo, including unkind views of Rasputia in a bikini, the tub, in bed; all outfits outlining anatomically correct breasts; nongraphic jokes refer to bedroom antics, the size of a little boy's penis, pimps (comics Eddie Griffin and Katt Williams), prostitutes, condoms; threats of violence; lots of rhymes-with-witch and the S-word; sexual language; ethnic stereotyping; Rasputia purposely drives over a dog; we later see the pooch wearing wheels to get around; she chases kids, yelling, ``Don't think I won't kill a child''; flatulence jokes. Iffy for middle-schoolers.)

-- R's:

``300'' (NEW) (Stunning, digitally enhanced, occasionally giggle-inducing, but mostly epic-feeling and sounding adaptation of a graphic novel (by Frank Miller and Lynn Varley) about Sparta's King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and the Battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C., when he and 300 men faced the army of Persian emperor Xerxes; narration, dialogue, battle scenes all feel effectively ancient, portentous. Stylized visuals, muted colors make battle violence seem otherworldly, less gory, but still harrowing -- not for all high-school-age stomachs; spears, daggers through guts, eyes; horses cut down from under warriors; strongly implied rape -- camera cuts away before it becomes graphic; more explicit, though very stylized, sexual montage between King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and his Queen (Lena Headey); back-view nudity; toplessness; a few subtle homoerotic verbal references; mild curses. High-schoolers.)

``Zodiac'' (Long but riveting, naturalistic fact-based crime saga about search for San Francisco Bay Area's random, frightening Zodiac killer in 1969 and for years after, focusing on a homicide detective (Mark Ruffalo), a newspaper cartoonist (Jake Gyllenhaal, as Robert Graysmith, whose books about Zodiac inspired the film) and a crime reporter (Robert Downey Jr.), who all become obsessed with, and damaged by, the case. Depiction of Zodiac killings is fairly understated, but includes upsetting point-blank shootings, stabbings, spattered blood; an infant and its mother shown at risk; drug use, drinking, smoking; cops discuss in nongraphic terms a suspect's molestation of children; we see a sex toy suspect owns; strong profanity. 16 and older.)

``Black Snake Moan'' (Lurid, pulpy, misconceived southern-gothic drama about a sexually ravenous, pathologically promiscuous young white woman (Christina Ricci) who gets beaten and left for dead, and the grizzled, misguided, blues-singing black farmer (Samuel L. Jackson) who decides he'll ``cure'' her ``wickedness'' by chaining her to his radiator; distressingly retro view of women, with Ricci mostly in briefs and braless tops; blues soundtrack and Jackson in a meaty role are film's positives; their scenes are sexually charged but captor and captive do not have a sexual relationship; other explicit sexual situations include her seduction of a boy under 18 -- their coupling occurs off-screen; verbal references, flashbacks hint at childhood molestation; toplessness; strong profanity; crude, misogynistic sexual slang; racial slurs; drinking, smoking; drug use; fighting; guns. Not for under-17s.)

``The Number 23'' (Jim Carrey in visually inventive but narratively muddled, pseudo-film noirish mess of a thriller that starts out tantalizingly with a numerological mystery, then veers fatally into psychological claptrap; animal control officer Walter Sparrow's (Carrey) simple life disintegrates after his wife (Virginia Madsen) buys him a novel titled ``The Number 23'' about a homicide detective (also Carrey); as the cop becomes obsessed with mysticism surrounding the number 23, so does Walter, who sees and dreams himself as the book's hero. Suicide theme -- stylized depictions of throat slitting, jumping out of buildings, hanging, slit wrists; murder victims in pools of blood; semiexplicit sexual situations, some with implied sadomasochism or death obsession; other sexual innuendo; profanity. 16 and older.)