The Washington Post Writers Group

Providing quality content to newspapers, magazines and electronic media worldwide.

JANE HORWITZ - FAMILY FILMGOER

-Click Here For Recent Work

May 3, 2007

``Spider-Man 3'' (PG-13, 2 hrs., 20 min.)

A disappointment even as it marginally entertains, ``Spider-Man 3'' takes the eloquent soul-searching that made the first sequel (``Spider-Man 2'' PG-13, 2004) so glorious and carries it to lugubrious extremes in this morality tale about the ``poisons'' of ego and revenge. The movie is too long, its plot lumbered with more strands than Spidey's webs. Teens into superheroes will still find enjoyment here, but even they may squirm at the somber bits or the corny romantic complications. Grade-schoolers may simply find the film too slow. Violence -- most of it nongraphic -- features those high-flying, glass-shattering, pavement-cracking battles between Spider-Man, aka Peter Parker (Tobey Maguire), and his nemeses -- in this film the shape-shifting Sandman (Thomas Haden Church), the ambush-happy, blade-slinging New Goblin (James Franco) and the lizard-toothed Venom (Topher Grace). One character is impaled, another shot, and innocent victims dangle precariously above the city. We see upsetting flashbacks of the murder of Peter's Uncle Ben (Cliff Robertson). A scene in which Sandman turns into a sand cloud billowing down a street recalls 9/11. The film includes mild sexual innuendo, drinking and smoking.

In ``Spider-Man 3,'' Peter Parker is not only a superhero, but is in college, working as a freelance photographer for the Daily Bugle, living in a tiny apartment and planning to propose to Mary Jane, or MJ (Kirsten Dunst). MJ is struggling with her acting career, but Peter is too caught up in the city's love for ``Spidey'' to notice. He is of course headed for a fall. His old pal Harry (Franco) blames him for the death of Harry's villainous dad (Willem Dafoe) and stalks Peter/Spidey as New Goblin. Peter learns an escaped convict, Marko (Haden Church), murdered his Uncle Ben and decides to kill him. Marko gets caught in a particle physics experiment and becomes Sandman. Ambitious photographer Eddie Brock (Topher Grace) tries to supplant Peter at the Daily Bugle. He becomes Venom. Then there are those slimy meteorite things that bond with Peter, turning him vengeful and egotistical.

--0-- --0-- --0--

``The Invisible'' (PG-13, 1 hr., 37 min.)

This parable of teenage anti-social behavior, alienation, forgiveness and redemption -- with a supernatural/spiritual twist -- proves surprisingly effective despite its sanitized plot and teen-flick cliches. High-schoolers with an un-ironic liking for big-screen emotions may find the movie (based on a Swedish novel and film) pretty cathartic, right down to its finale, a faint nod to ``Romeo and Juliet.'' Chalk much of that up to strong, credible acting, led by Justin Chatwin as a rich kid named Nick whose emotionally distant, widowed mom (Marcia Gay Harden) won't let him study poetry in London after high school. Already disaffected and dreaming of suicide, Nick angers the tough, tragic girl in school, Annie (Margarita Levieva), who later decides he ratted her out to the police for a robbery. She and her gang beat him up one night and, fearing they've killed him, dump his body in the woods. The next day Nick emerges from the trees and goes to school, soon realizing no one sees or hears him. Hovering between life and death, his spirit self follows Annie, trying to awaken her conscience and save his life.

A bit grim for middle-schoolers, ``The Invisible'' includes a strong suicide theme (Nick also tries it while a ``ghost'') and graphic instances of people getting beaten up or cut. There is also gunplay, and Nick fantasizes pushing Annie off a roof. She seems to spend the night with her older partner-in-crime (Alex O'Loughlin), and a scene with other characters includes a steamy make-out moment. There is mild profanity.

P.S. FOR HIGH-SCHOOLERS: If you like the mix of drama and the supernatural in ``The Invisible,'' you might want to check out a much-loved 1991 British film called ``Truly Madly Deeply'' (PG). It's about a woman so devastated by the death of her boyfriend, whom she adored, that he comes to visit her as a ghost, to help her get on with her life. The story has sadness, but it's also really funny.

--0-- --0-- --0--

``Next'' (PG-13, 1 hr., 36 min.)

Almost any description of ``Next'' will give away too much plot, so just read this first paragraph for parental information if that worries you: An improbable, yet oddly gripping thriller, it is perhaps too intense for middle-schoolers because it deals with the possibility that terrorists could smuggle a nuclear weapon into the country and decimate a city. It shows a hostage strapped to a wheelchair and blown up -- from a distance, but still a very upsetting scene. It depicts point-blank shootings and a throat-slitting (though these are not graphic), heavy fistfights and an intense downhill chase. A couple kisses, then the film cuts to them cuddling in bed after lovemaking. The film contains midrange profanity, drinking and smoking.

PLOT GIVEAWAY WARNING: Nicolas Cage, looking odd, with an artificial tan and stringy hair, plays a low-rent Las Vegas magician, Cris Johnson. Cris isn't just a showman; he really can see a couple of minutes into the future -- a burden he was born with. That's why a no-nonsense FBI agent (Julianne Moore) wants him to help find that nuclear device. Only he wants the Feds to leave him be. All he cares about is the beautiful young woman (Jessica Biel) he knows will walk into a Vegas diner. (In her presence, his vision of the future expands into hours.) Director Lee Tamahori cleverly has scenes double back on themselves -- yes that was real; no, it was Cris vision of what might be. Way cool.

--0-- --0-- --0--

BEYOND THE RATINGS GAME

-- OK FOR 6 AND OLDER:

``Meet the Robinsons'' G (Gorgeous computer-animated feature (at some theaters shown in crisp, bright, non-scary 3-D) celebrates imagination, individuality, and finding a new family when you don't have one of your own; bespectacled boy inventor, Lewis, a 12-year-old orphan eager to find his real mom, invents a ``memory scanner'' for the science fair; Wilbur Robinson, a boy from the future, shows up there and whisks Lewis to a cheery art deco-style future to meet the riotously eccentric Robinson clan. Baby abandoned on orphanage step; serious theme handled humorously about how childhood loneliness or failures can stalk us through life; ``Bowler Hat Guy'' villain wears a hat that sprouts metal legs, chases folks; Lewis and Wilbur crash-land a time machine; rude taunts ``puke-face'' and ``booger-breath''; dinosaur topiary comes to life, chases more folks.)

-- PG-13s OF VARYING INTENSITY:

``Spider-Man 3'' (NEW) (The usually modest Peter Parker, aka Spider-Man (Tobey Maguire), lets pride and vengeance nearly destroy him in overlong third film, which turns the eloquent soul-searching of ``Spider-Man 2'' (PG-13, 2004) into lugubrious, pseudo-religiosity; high-schoolers may squirm or snicker at times; busy with college, his freelance photography gig and being Spider-Man, Peter fails to notice his love Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst) is having career problems; his pal Harry (James Franco) still blames Peter/ ``Spidey'' for the death of Harry's dad (Willem Dafoe) and goes after him as the blade-slinging New Goblin; an escaped convict (Thomas Haden Church) whom Peter knows killed his Uncle Ben (Cliff Robertson) gets zapped at a physics lab and becomes the shape-shifting monster, Sandman; an ambitious guy (Topher Grace) who wants Peter's photography gig becomes the lizard-toothed Venom; Peter/ ``Spidey'' takes them all on, along with slimy alien things that bond with him and make him a prideful, vengeful guy. Nongraphic violence includes high-flying, glass-shattering, blade-hurling battles; one character impaled, another shot; innocent victims dangle above street; grim flashbacks of Uncle Ben's murder; Sandman turns into a cloud billowing down a street, recalling 9/11; mild sexual innuendo; drinking; smoking. Too slow, somber for some younger teens.)

``The Invisible'' (NEW) (Parable of teenage anti-social behavior, forgiveness, redemption, all with a supernatural spin, is surprisingly effective despite a sanitized plot and teen-flick cliches, thanks to good acting. Nick (Justin Chatwin), a rich, fatherless high-schooler, gets on the wrong side of the school's criminal girl, Annie (Margarita Levieva); she and her pals beat him up and leave him for dead; he emerges as a spirit, invisible and unheard, his undiscovered body still hovering between life and death; he tries to get Annie to hear him, atone, and tell the cops where he is. Nick dreams of suicide, tries it as a ``ghost,'' fantasizes pushing Annie off a roof; scenes of teens beaten up or cut; gunplay; Annie spends the night with an older partner-in-crime (Alex O'Loughlin); other characters in a steamy make-out scene; mild profanity. A bit grim for middle-schoolers.)

``Next'' (NEW) (Improbable, yet oddly gripping thriller stars Nicolas Cage as a weird, sad-sack Las Vegas magician who can actually see minutes into the future and even farther when in the presence of a woman (Jessica Biel) he envisions he'll meet; a grim FBI agent (Julianne Moore) wants him to help track down terrorists with a nuclear device, but he wants to be left alone to find his love; yet fate calls; cool plot device shows him imagining different outcomes to key moments. Hostage strapped to a wheelchair and blown up in upsetting scene, shown from a distance; point-blank shooting and a throat-slitting -- both non-gory; fights; intense downhill chase; couple kiss, then are seen cuddling in bed; midrange profanity; drinking; smoking. Too intense for middle schoolers because of central terrorist theme.)

``Kickin It Old Skool'' (NEW) (Witless, tasteless, truly awful comedy stars Jamie Kennedy as a thirty-something guy who wakes up from a 20-year coma caused when he fell off a stage at age 12 while break dancing (shown in a prologue); in today's world, but with a childish, 1980s-bred mentality, he tries to get his old break dance crew (Miguel A. Nunez Jr., Bobby Lee, Aris Alvarado) -- now 30-ish and out of shape -- reunited for a contest; his former middle-school sweetheart (Maria Menounos) and her fiance (Michael Rosenbaum), the former middle-school bully, run the contest. Stunningly crude toilet humor; semi-crude sex jokes; pedophilia joke; racial, ethnic, homophobic slurs and stereotypes; ``retard'' and homeless guy jokes; implied nudity; make-out scene; bickering, negligent parents; profanity; drinking. Too lewd, crude for middle-schoolers.)

``In the Land of Women'' (A young, unlucky-in-love writer (Adam Brody) visits his cranky grandmother (Olympia Dukakis) in Michigan and strikes up a fraught friendship (laced with romance) with the unhappy housewife (Meg Ryan) across the street and her angry, insecure teen daughter (Kristen Stewart), and a kinship with her perceptive younger girl (Makenzie Vega); the mother's crises of health and family move him and they help one another in an occasionally moving tale, marred by too many New Age-y ``live in the moment'' speeches. Themes: marital infidelity, fears that a parent will die, teen sexual insecurities; middling profanity; mild sexual innuendo; homophobic slur; drug reference; passionate kissing; stylized, nonexplicit lovemaking flashback. High-schoolers into character, sentiment.)

``Disturbia'' (Exploitative, awkward mix of dark, violent R-ish themes with PG-13 teen romance; Shia LaBeouf as a troubled kid grieving for his father (who dies in a car accident in an upsetting prologue); he socks a teacher and gets three months' house arrest, complete with electronic ankle bracelet; bored, he starts spying on neighbors with his pal (Aaron Yoo) and the cute new girl next door (Sarah Roemer); they suspect one man (David Morse) of serial murder. Female victims shown wrapped in plastic; hints of the crimes -- screams, blood spattering; understated sexual innuendo and implied teen longing; steamy kisses; shots of girls in bikinis and of a young woman undressing (her back to the lens) show no nudity, but are from the voyeuristic teen protagonist's view; little boys secretly watch a lewd video showing topless women covered in whipped cream; infidelity theme; profanity; drug reference. Not for middle-schoolers.)

``Blades of Glory'' (Rude, riotous farce about figure skating rivals Chazz (Will Ferrell) and Jimmy (Jon Heder), banned from competition for public scuffling; three years later a rules loophole allows the two to skate as the first male/male duo. Constant R-ish verbal, visual sex jokes go beyond innuendo: crotch gags; references to Chazz's ``sex addiction'' (he attends a lascivious support group, claims he had sex at age 9 with a 35-year-old woman); much gay, at times homophobic, humor; a towel worn dangerously low; drinking; drug references; adoption spoof; incest joke; death threat; accidental decapitation in ice stunt video; profanity; toilet humor. Not for middle-schoolers.)

-- R's:

``The Condemned'' (Exploitative, ultraviolent action flick inserts a sanctimonious sermon near the end, challenging ethics of those who produce and watch ``reality'' TV competitions -- while it takes that genre to its nastiest limit; likable wrestling icon Steve ``Stone Cold'' Austin stars as one mystery man among 10 death row inmates (eight men and two women) from around the world, dropped onto a south sea island to fight one another to the death; his nemesis is a brutish Brit (Vinnie Jones), but the true villain is the slimy producer (Rick Hoffman) who streams the mayhem on the Web for money. Knifings; point-blank shootings; leg-breaking fights; implied rape, torture; people blown up; profanity; ethnic slurs; milder sexual innuendo; drinking; smoking. Not for under-17s.)

``Vacancy'' (Well-acted, deliberately claustrophobic thriller plays out as alternately intriguing and vile, telling lurid tale of a couple (Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale) stranded by car trouble at a seedy motel, where they realize the mild clerk (Frank Whaley) and cohorts torture and kill ``guests,'' recording the mayhem on hidden cameras for ``snuff'' films; the couple, grieving for a child and headed for divorce, must team up to survive. Premise is grimly adult, but violence is not exceptionally gory, but excerpts of ``snuff'' videos and film's more immediate face-offs are intense, with much blood; stabbings, shootings, sweaty tunnel chases, a car crash, victims' screams; partial nudity, hints of rape in the videos; strong profanity; crude sexist remark; rats. Not for under-17s.)

``Hot Fuzz'' (Super-droll, if overlong British comedy pokes sly fun at American cop pictures and English country life; a by-the-book London cop (Simon Pegg), disliked by his lazier colleagues, is transferred to a country village, where he suspects a spate of deaths are not ``accidental''; he can't convince his clueless new partner (Nick Frost) or any other cake-eating village cop that murder is afoot. Comedic but graphic images of severed heads, charred or decaying corpses, rats, bloody crime scenes, stabbings, shootings, someone's head demolished by a toppled church steeple; a huge gun battle; child briefly taken hostage; very crude sexist slang; strong profanity; ethnic slur; drug references; toilet humor; smoking; drinking, including teen drinkers. More for college kids.)

``Fracture'' (Thriller starts out glitzy and superficial, but becomes an intriguing morality tale; Anthony Hopkins steals the show as a cold aeronautics exec (still more human and less clever than his iconic Hannibal Lecter) who shoots his unfaithful wife (Embeth Davidtz); but the hotshot assistant district attorney (Ryan Gosling) assigned to prosecute him sees all the evidence melt away and must decide whether to pursue justice or decamp to a fancy law firm. Understated compared to many R films: stylized gun violence, not hugely graphic but with much blood; stylized, nongraphic sex scene; midrange profanity; semi-crude sexual language; milder sexual innuendo; toilet humor; drinking. OK for high-schoolers.)