June 14, 2007

``Nancy Drew'' (PG, 1 hr., 30 min.)

Emma Roberts as the perky, prim teen sleuth in ``Nancy Drew" is not exactly the girl detective that moms, grandmothers, aunts and great aunts grew up reading. They may remember Nancy as a bit older and less of a lecturing goody-goody. When Roberts drives her vintage, powder blue roadster, she barely seems 16 (the actress, who is Julia Roberts' niece, was a bit shy of 16 during filming). She and her kind-of boyfriend Ned (Max Thieriot) look more like middle-schoolers than high-school sophomores. And the dialogue is beyond arch, as if the filmmakers were afraid to portray a smart, clean-cut girl without making her a parody.

Even so, most kids (mostly girls) between 8 and 13 will get a charge out of the chic, retro heroine and her relatively tame adventures. Note, however, that a girl who appeared to be 5 or 6, sitting near the Family Filmgoer, flinched and clung to her mom during chase scenes, when Nancy was investigating a dark hidden passage and when she is chased by someone in an SUV and later abducted. (She escapes, of course.) Though Nancy shrugs it off with ``It really gets my goat when someone tries to kill me. It's so rude,'' smaller kids may worry. The film is live-action, not animated and could seem real to some. The script includes rare crude words, and mild talk of unwed motherhood, suicide and murder. A depiction of CPR is all wrong and should be the Heimlich maneuver.

This 21st century Nancy and her widowed lawyer dad, Carson (Tate Donovan), leave their safe little town for Los Angeles, where he has a case that will take months. Nancy has promised her dad to stay away from sleuthing in the big city. He doesn't know that the decrepit mansion they've rented cheap has a mystery attached, which is why Nancy chose it. A Hollywood star, Dehlia Draycott (Laura Harring), died there. Nancy tries to avoid sleuthing, but the mean girls (Daniella Monet and Kelly Vitz) at Hollywood High make her a target of ridicule, with her knee-highs, penny loafers, neck scarves and flipped hairdo. So, with the help of a pudgy 12-year-old (Josh Flitter) who worships her, Nancy starts unraveling the mystery of the dead actress. She finds her illegitimate daughter (Rachael Leigh Cook), now a single mother herself, and aims to help her. (Some parents will object to this theme, though it is gently treated.) A sleazy lawyer (Barry Bostwick) and a creepy caretaker (Marshall Bell) also give Nancy trouble.

P.S. FOR KIDS 8 AND OLDER: If you like the clothes that actress Emma Roberts wears as Nancy Drew, you can see a lot more in that style if you look up old teen magazines from the early 1960s, such as ``Ingenue.'' And check out movies starring Audrey Hepburn, such as ``Sabrina" (1954), ``Charade'' (1963) and ``How to Steal a Million" (1966). She was always considered the perfect high-fashion dresser. Even today, her outfits today look absolutely perfect.

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``Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer'' (PG, 1 hr., 30 min.)

With its moderate level of sci-fi violence and lame superhero banter, ``Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer`` plays more like a Saturday morning serial from the 1950s -- harmless, but also pallid.

This sequel to 2005's ``Fantastic Four'' (PG-13) has been tamed into a PG, so it seems apparent 20th Century Fox wants it to fill the excitement gap for tweens and preteens -- roughly kids from ages 8 to 12 -- whose parents don't deem them ready for the intensity of PG-13 films such as ``Spider-Man 3`` or ``Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End.'' It would be nice if this alternative had equal entertainment value.

Safe for most kids 8 and older, the movie includes crass phrases about getting kicked in the crotch or behind, mild sexual innuendo, beer drinking, implied nudity, and bloodless violence, with the superheroes flying, stretching, burning, crashing and slugging it out with an alien power bent on destroying Earth. Younger kids may be scared by a destructive cloud that creates deep craters and starts to engulf the planet. The Silver Surfer, a metallic humanoid (voice of Laurence Fishburne) that travels at the speed of light on a silver surfboard doing the bidding of the destroyer Galactus, is more cool than scary when you get to know him.

Based on Marvel Comics characters introduced in the 1960s, this ``Fantastic Four" adventure has brilliant scientist Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd), aka the stretchy Mister Fantastic, and his lady love Sue Storm (Jessica Alba), aka the force field-emitting Invisible Woman, about to marry. The ceremony is interrupted, however, when a new menace threatens Earth. Along with Sue's brother, Johnny (Chris Evans), aka the Human Torch and their huge, rocky pal, Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis), aka The Thing, the Fantastic Four get to work.

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BEYOND THE RATINGS GAME

-- OK FOR KIDS 6 AND OLDER:

``Surf's Up" PG (Funnier, less pretentious, more carefree and entertaining on all age levels than ``Happy Feet" (PG, 2006), this computer-animated penguin saga is ingeniously conceived as a ``reality TV" show about a surfing-obsessed Rockhopper penguin, Cody Maverick (voice of Shia LaBeouf), who leaves his Antarctican island for the tropics to compete in a surf off named for his idol, the late great Big Z; Cody befriends a spacey surfing rooster (Jon Heder), a lovely penguin lifeguard (Zooey Deschanel) and her reclusive uncle (Jeff Bridges) who teaches him the Zen of surfing; Tank (Diedrich Bader), a surfing champ and bully, targets Cody. Toilet humor; occasional crude language (``rap" and ``pecker face" are gratuitous); subtle comic references to masturbation that will be caught by adults, older teens; Cody and others are knocked out, nearly drowned in briefly intense surfing wipeouts; secondary theme about losing a parent -- photo of Cody's dad as a whale is about to swallow him.)

``Shrek the Third" PG (Inventive, irreverent, albeit crass, sequel keeps computer-animated medieval fairy-tale romp (and Hollywood spoof) afloat and offers gentle nudges about taking responsibility, making peace; chosen by his dying father-in-law, King Harold the frog (voice of John Cleese), to rule Far Far Away, the ogre Shrek (Mike Myers) cringes at dual prospects of kingship and fatherhood; Shrek, Donkey (Eddie Murphy) and Puss In Boots (Antonio Banderas) go off to find the teen (Justin Timberlake) next in line for the throne; evil Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) invades Far Far Away (quick, grim view of his minions swooping in on broomsticks), taking Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz) and her pals hostage; buffoonish Charming is not scary. Verbal hint that someone's tunic doesn't quite cover their privates; teens high on incense; alcohol reference; mild sexual innuendo; threat to kill Shrek; a stabbing shown to be harmless; ugly stepsister (Larry King) seems transgendered.)

-- FINE FOR 8 AND OLDER:

``Nancy Drew" PG (NEW) (Emma Roberts (Julia's niece) plays the prim, perky, arch (to the point of parody) teen sleuth Nancy Drew in chic retro outfits, seems younger and more goody-goody than Nancy of the books, and looks too middle school to drive her vintage roadster; relocated with her lawyer dad (Tate Donovan) to Los Angeles for a few months, Nancy promises not to sleuth; but the old mansion they rent has a built-in mystery about a dead actress (Laura Harring); girls at Hollywood High diss Nancy's style, but a pudgy 12-year-old (Josh Flitter) worships her; (her sort-of boyfriend Ned (Max Thieriot) is jealous when he visits). Rare semi-crude words; mystery involves mild talk of unwed motherhood, suicide, murder, which might upset some parents; depiction of CPR is all wrong; under-8's may flinch when Nancy is in a hidden passage and when someone in an SUV chases and abducts her; (she escapes, of course). Girls 8 to 13 will be mostly charmed, despite film's plain vanilla taste.)

``Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer" PG (NEW) (Sequel to ``Fantastic Four" (PG-13, 2005), based on Marvel Comics characters, has been tamed to a PG, maybe to grab kids not ready for intensity of ``Spider-Man 3" (PG -13); sadly, it plays like a 1950s Saturday morning serial -- harmless, but pallid, with lame banter; half of Fantastic Four -- scientist Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd), aka stretchy Mr. Fantastic, and Sue Storm (Jessica Alba), aka force-field emitting Invisible Woman, have their wedding interrupted by the planet killer Galactus and ``his" advance man, the speed-of-light traveling humanoid, Silver Surfer (voice of Laurence Fishburne); together with stone man Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis), aka The Thing, and Johnny Storm (Chris Evans), aka the Human Torch they save Earth. Occasional crass language; mild sexual innuendo; beer; implied nudity; bloodless violence with superheroes flying, stretching, burning, crashing, slugging; under-8's may cringe at cloud-like Galactus, as it starts to engulf Earth.)

-- PG-13s OF VARYING INTENSITY:

``Golden Door" (NEW; LIMITED RELEASE) (A Sicilian family sails to America, circa 1900, in a stunning Italian-language film mixing gritty naturalism with dreamscapes -- an alternately hopeful, harrowing epic told on an intimate scale; a young widower, Salvatore (Vincenzo Amato), heads the family, crammed into ``steerage," their heads full of New World myths (money trees; rivers of milk); he befriends a mysterious English woman (Charlotte Gainsbourg); on Ellis Island, they're all demeaned, checked for ``defects." Passengers hurt during rough seas; distraught woman with dead infant; sexual innuendo; subtle reference to prostitution; naive young man sneaks into women's quarters on ship, sniffs sleeping figures; male, female nudity in medical exams; wine. For mature teens interested in history, current immigration debate; great intro to foreign film. Italian with subtitles.)

``Ocean's Thirteen" (Low-key caper comedy (after ``Ocean's Eleven," 2001, ``Ocean's Twelve," 2004, both PG-13) is too long and heavy on convoluted ``process" footage, but hits jackpot with male star power, banter and glitz; Danny Ocean (George Clooney), Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt) and their fellow con men (Matt Damon, Don Cheadle, Casey Affleck, Scott Caan, Bernie Mac, Carl Reiner and more) return to Las Vegas to avenge their mentor, Reuben Tishkoff (Elliott Gould), after a casino magnate (Al Pacino) cheats him on a deal. Occasional mild profanity; nongraphic heart attack; steamy almost-seduction never gets past shedding of outer garments; daunting view of sumo wrestlers' behinds; drinking. Younger teens may fidget through narrative detours, talkiness.)

``Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" (Chaotic, interminable sequel with incomprehensible plot-o'-nine-tales is mostly a bore, with nice moments when stars do their pirate/villain thing to droll effect; wily Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and callow lovers Elizabeth (Keira Knightley) and Will (Orlando Bloom) rescue rascally Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp, now caricaturing his caricature) from the undead limbo of Davy Jones (Bill Nighy with the squid face) so pirate leaders can unite against Lord Beckett (Tom Hollander). Stylized mayhem pushes PG-13 limit with harrowing image of mass hangings -- including a boy -- feet falling through trap doors, bodies carted off; characters run through with swords, shot in head; bodies fall into sea; frostbitten toe snapped off; glass eye licked clean, popped back into socket; fish-headed zombie pirates; mild sexual innuendo, profanity; drinking; death, betrayal themes. Iffy for middle-schoolers, 'tweens with gentler sensibilities.)

``Spider-Man 3" (Endless third film inflates eloquent soul-searching of ``Spider-Man 2" (PG-13, 2004) into pseudo-spiritual piffle; Peter Parker/Spider-Man (Tobey Maguire), caught up in Spiderman persona's glory, fails to notice Mary Jane's (Kirsten Dunst) acting career angst; as Spider-Man, he faces multiple enemies: estranged pal Harry (James Franco) as the blade-slinging New Goblin; shape-shifting monster and escaped convict Sandman (Thomas Haden Church); and lizard-toothed Venom (Topher Grace), in human form a guy who covets Peter's photo job at the Daily Bugle; slithery alien whatsits invade Peter and turn him mean. Non-gory high-flying, blade-hurling battles, impalings, shootings; flashbacks of gun murder of Peter's Uncle Ben (Cliff Robertson); Sandman morphs into a cloud hurtling down a street, echoing 9/11; mild sexual innuendo; drinking; smoking. Too slow, somber for some younger teens.)

-- R's:

``Hostel Part II" (NEW) (Horror flick's vile premise -- young travelers abducted so rich folks can pay for the thrill of torturing and killing them -- makes one despair over the state of civilization; somewhat smarter, slightly less gory (it's a relative thing) sequel to ``Hostel" (R, 2005) again weds American xenophobia to an image of Eastern Europe hardened, haunted by violence; three American students (Lauren German, Bijou Phillips and Heather Matarazzo), are lured to a ``spa" in Slovakia and become prey for the killing ``factory"; Roger Bart as a timid ``client." Bloodletting done with saws, blades, axes, dogs; film shows entrails, severed heads, headless corpses; a boy is shot dead; sexualized killing; much nudity; sexual situations; crude sexual slang; strong profanity; drug use; drinking, smoking. Too grostesque for anyone under 17.)

``Mr. Brooks" (Visually and psychologically stylish, gripping variation on filmdom's fascination with serial killers; Kevin Costner as wealthy businessman Brooks with secret life as a killer; he tries to break his ``addiction," but his alter ego (William Hurt), seen and heard only by him, wants more ``fun"; he shoots a couple in the throes of their lovemaking, not realizing the curtains are open; a voyeuristic neighbor (Dane Cook) produces photos, demands Brooks to take him along on his next spree; Brooks' wife (Marg Helgenberger) is clueless, but his daughter (Danielle Panabaker) has issues; and a cop (Demi Moore) is closing in. Subtle but clear link for Brooks between killing and sexual pleasure; flinch-inducing murders with gun, blade, shovel; explicit sexual situation; nudity; profanity; drinking; smoking. Truly not for under-17s.)

``Knocked Up" (Director Judd Apatow's knack for mixing raunchiness and heart (``The 40-Year-Old Virgin," R, 2005) works to hilarious, humane effect in tale of Ben (Seth Rogen), a slacker who lives with his buds, smoking pot and barely working; he meets gorgeous, career-minded Alison (Katherine Heigl) at a bar; they have a drunken one-night stand; she gets pregnant, calls him; they try to forge a relationship; savvy cast adds neat improvisational edge. Constant strong profanity; graphic sexual situation; seminudity; crude, explicit sexual slang, discussion of condom use; steaming sexual innuendo; topless dancers; marijuana, hallucinogenic drug use; drinking; toilet humor. Iffy for high-schoolers under 17 -- in an ideal world, should depend on parental discretion.)