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``Transformers'' (PG-13, 2 hrs., 24 min.)
The Family Filmgoer won't pretend to any expertise about the nearly 25-year-old subculture that has grown up around Transformer action figures, from TV 'toons to comic books to the 1986 animated film (``Transformers: The Movie,'' PG) -- all dear to the hearts of devotees. However, she had a fine time at the new live-action/digital effects ``Transformers'' movie, though she had dreaded the prospect of yet another film based on toys, games, comics or cartoons. And teens, whether Transformer buffs or not, will likely be just as entertained by the movie. ``Transformers'' is a totally cool, witty film, with strong human characters to keep it from drowning in techno-trivia. Director Michael Bay and his team make sure the alien robots transform from their everyday mechanical shapes into their giant robotic battle modes with great visual panache. At times the film looks like a glorified tractor pull, while the ``good'' Autobots, led by heroic Optimus Prime (voice of Peter Cullen), battle the ``evil'' Decepticons, and the fate of humankind hangs in the balance. When the Autobots try to hide in teen protagonist Sam Witwicky's (Shia LaBeouf) yard, the comic scene is a choice mix of live-action and digital effects.
The movie includes intense, albeit bloodless, mayhem as well as rather strong sexual innuendo, slang and subtext, including a verbal reference to masturbation. That places it a little out of preteen range. And many younger kids will be frightened by the huge alien Transformer 'bots looming over buildings and humans, shattering concrete as they fight and endangering bystanders. The film depicts battlefield violence (the U.S. military provided hardware for the film) and gunplay. It has occasional profanity and crude humor, mild ethnic slurs and stereotypes, a misogynistic slur, a drug reference and shows adults drinking.
Sam Witwicky gets his first car -- a beat-up 1976 Camaro that seems to choose him. Of course, the Camaro is really Bumblebee (voice of Mark Ryan), a good Autobot who morphs into a huge fighter. Sam and Mikaela (Megan Fox), the girl he both lusts after and worships, are quickly caught up in the Autobot-versus-Decepticon fray and befriend Bumblebee, Optimus Prime and their cohorts. Other strands of the complex plot include Special Forces troops (Josh Duhamel as their sergeant) who confront Decepticons in the desert and at home, a computer techie (Rachael Taylor) and hacker (Anthony Anderson) who try to crack Decepticon code, plus the Secretary of Defense (Jon Voight), and a bizarro secret agent (John Turturro).
P.S. FOR TEENS: If the idea of a kid having a friendship with an alien robot fascinates you in ``Transformers,'' you might really like a slightly more old-fashioned animated film on a similar subject -- ``The Iron Giant'' (PG, 1999). The director, Brad Bird, is the same guy behind the current hit, ``Ratatouille'' (G) and ``The Incredibles'' (PG, 2004).
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``License to Wed'' (PG-13, 1 hr., 30 min.)
Robin Williams plays an eccentric minister who puts couples through a prenuptial obstacle course to test their compatibility in this agonized attempt at a romantic/family comedy. ``License to Wed'' aims for a kind of jovial sophistication but quickly degenerates into a lewd, low-brow, rarely funny farce. This makes it problematic fare for middle-schoolers. Much of the script hangs upon Williams' trademark gags, which are funny when he's doing stand-up, but sound forced and exaggeratedly off-color when he builds a character around them. Still, his lines might elicit a few snickers from high-schoolers. But the movie's central romance, showcasing Mandy Moore and John Krasinski (of TV's ``The Office''), proves the dreariest of date-flick cliches.
Crude, sometimes sexual language (lines about ``doing'' someone, using Viagra on a deflated basketball, getting ``the clap'') peppers the dialogue, along with references to sexual orientation and midrange profanity. Love scenes get a little steamy, but stop short of anything explicit. More disturbing than funny is a ``comic'' scene in which Krasinski's character bashes a clearly fake baby (caring for animatronic infants is part of the marriage course). Moore's character tries to drive while blindfolded, getting directions from her beloved; they nearly hit an old man. The film contains a shameless stereotype of Jamaicans, a drug reference, drunkenness, and a scene showing women in labor, screaming.
Williams plays Reverend Frank, who agrees to marry Sadie (Moore) and her boyfriend Ben (Krasinski). However, Reverend Frank's pre-marriage course involves unusual practices, such as bugging the couple's bedroom to enforce his pre-wedding celibacy rule. The premise of ``License to Wed'' could be universal, but the filmmakers kill it with tone-deafness. Reverend Frank, for instance, is a bachelor whose constant 24-7 companion is a tough-talking preteen reverend-in-training (Josh Flitter) who helps him spy on the couples he's counseling. Seriously.
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BEYOND THE RATINGS GAME
-- OK FOR KIDS 6 AND OLDER:
``Surf's Up'' PG (Unpretentious, carefree computer-animated penguin saga should delight all ages; cleverly set up as a ``reality TV'' show about a surfing-obsessed Rockhopper penguin, Cody Maverick (voice of Shia LaBeouf), who leaves his Antarctican isle to compete in a tropical surf-off; he befriends a spacey surfing rooster (Jon Heder), a lovely penguin lifeguard (Zooey Deschanel) and her reclusive, hippie-ish uncle (Jeff Bridges) who teaches him the Zen of surfing; Tank (Diedrich Bader), a bullying surfer champ, harasses Cody. Toilet humor; occasional crude language (``crap,'' ``pecker face''); subtle comic reference to masturbation will be caught by adults, older teens; Cody and others are nearly drowned in briefly scary wipeouts; sub-theme about losing a parent -- ``photo'' of Cody's dad as a whale is about to swallow him.)
-- FINE FOR 8 AND OLDER:
``Evan Almighty'' PG (Milder sequel to ``Bruce Almighty'' (PG-13, 2003) updates the Noah story in preachy, unsubtle style; yet its droll mix of adults acting silly and wild animals acting tame will tickle kids; Steve Carell plays new Congressman Evan Baxter (the TV anchorman forced to spout jibberish in the first film) who moves his family to a McMansion near Washington; a big-shot congressman (John Goodman) pressures him to back a bad land bill; he starts to get odd deliveries of tools and wood; then God (Morgan Freeman) appears and tells Evan to build an ark and warn people of a flood; Evan’s beard grows; animals flock to him in pairs; film's ``green'' and biblical themes may put off some on political or theological grounds. Bird doo gags; rare, mildly off-color references; kid describes a duck's penis; drug reference; implied nudity; scene of houses swept away recalls Hurricane Katrina; mild, partly muffled profanity.)
``Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer'' PG (Harmless but dull sequel to ``Fantastic Four'' (PG-13, 2005), still based on Marvel Comics characters, has been tamed to a PG for the younger market, but is pallid fare, with lame repartee and clunk effects; Fantastic Four scientist Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd), aka stretchy Mr. Fantastic, Sue Storm (Jessica Alba), aka force-field emitting Invisible Woman, stone man Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis), aka The Thing, and Johnny Storm (Chris Evans), aka the Human Torch, face down speed-of-light traveling humanoid, Silver Surfer (voice of Laurence Fishburne), advance man for planet-killer Galactus. Bloodless violence; under-8s may quail at cloud-like Galactus engulfing Earth; rare crass language; mild sexual innuendo; beer; implied nudity.)
-- MORE ACCESSIBLE TO 10 AND OLDER:
``Ratatouille'' G (Gorgeous computer-animated fable from ``The Incredibles'' (PG, 2004) writer/director Brad Bird spins a marvelous yarn about how anyone can follow his or her bliss; young country-French rat Remy (voice of Patton Oswalt) has a genius for food and rejects his family's love of garbage and hatred of humans; by accident and fate, he lands in Paris; the spirit of a TV chef (Brad Garrett) he idolizes leads Remy to the now-dead chef’s restaurant; there Remy bonds with a gawky dishwasher (Lou Romano) and turns him into a master chef, hiding in the fellow’s hat and pulling his hair to guide his hands. Film will not delight the rodent-phobic, though Remy’s many, sometimes swarming, rat pals have cute pink noses; intense scenes when Remy nearly gets trampled or people with guns and meat cleavers chase him; store selling rat poison has dead rats in window; wine-drinking. ``Ratatouille'' preceded by ``Lifted,'' a droll animated short about space aliens trying to abduct a sleeping man; they try to spirit him tush-first out a window, partly baring his behind.)
-- PG-13s OF VARYING INTENSITY:
``Transformers'' (NEW) (Giant, robotic, morphing space aliens -- good Autobots and evil Decepticons -- do battle on Earth, with mankind’s fate in the balance in this totally cool sci-fi action flick based on Transformer action figures -- a nifty blend of live-action and digital effects; director Michael Bay makes human characters more important, thus preventing Transformer fan subculture from drowning the film; Shia LaBeouf as teen protagonist Sam buys his first car, an old yellow Camaro, which is actually the Autobot Bumblebee (voice of Mark Ryan), a fighter with Autobot leader Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen); Sam and Mikaela (Megan Fox), the girl he lusts after, ally with Prime and Bumblebee, meet a creepy secret agent (John Turturro), the Secretary of Defense (Jon Voight) and computer whizzes (Rachael Taylor and Anthony Anderson) trying to decode the Decepticons. Intense, albeit bloodless mayhem: younger kids may be scared by huge alien Transformer 'bots morphing from vehicles into giant robotic warriors, fighting, looming over buildings, shattering concrete, endangering people; battlefield violence; other gunplay; strong sexual innuendo, slang; verbal reference to masturbation; occasional profanity; crude humor; mild ethnic slurs, stereotypes; misogynistic slur; drug reference; adults drinking. Implied teen sexual longing makes film iffy for preteens.)
``License to Wed'' (NEW) (Robin Williams in wrongheaded romantic/family comedy as an eccentric minister who requires plain-vanilla couple Sadie (Mandy Moore) and Ben (John Krasinski) to take his marital counseling course; he even has their bedroom bugged to make sure they obey his abstinence rule; Williams’ semi-lewd stand-up riffs feel heavy-handed when altered to fit a character; Reverend Frank, by the way, is a bachelor whose 24-7 companion is a preteen minister-in-training (Josh Flitter) -- a truly tone deaf touch. Crude, sometimes sexual language -- references to ``doing'' someone, Viagra, ``the clap,'' sexual orientation; midrange profanity; slightly steamy but nonexplicit bedroom scenes; Ben bashes an animatronic baby -- a scene more disturbing than comic; Sadie drives while blindfolded, nearly hitting an old man; ethnic stereotypes; drug reference; drunkenness; women in labor. Not for middle-schoolers.)
``Live Free or Die Hard'' (Bruce Willis returns after a 12-year break as tough New York cop John McClane, drolly paired with a young computer hacker (likable Justin Long) to save America from a cyber villain (Timothy Olyphant) who plots to fry all networks and paralyze the nation; smart-aleck dialogue and spectacular stunts dilute the film's simplistic jingoism and make it fun. PG-13 rating (previous ``Die Hard'' films were R's) reflects more about coarsening of PG-13s than softening of ``Die Hard'' brand. Deafening gunplay approaches R range despite muted gore; bone-cracking fights; explosions; citizen-endangering car, property-wrecking truck, helicopter and fighter jet stunts; profanity also nears R level (McClane calls many people ``jerk-off''); racially insensitive remarks; McClane's grown daughter (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) rebuffs a date who tries to grope her. OK for teens unfazed by over-the-top screen mayhem.)
``Sicko'' (Michael Moore's galvanizing, often moving, also funny, proudly one-sided polemic about the American health care system entertains as it crystallizes the issues; Moore, as usual, is not careful with his facts and figures, singing the praises and ignoring the problems of government-run health care in Canada, France, the U.K. and Cuba (where he takes 9/11 first-responders with lung problems for treatment); yet on the larger question of why all Americans don’t have full access to health care he hits a philosophical bull's-eye that demands debate. A bare derriere gets an injection; rare profanity; sad stories of unnecessary deaths . More for adults familiar with the issues and perhaps teens into current events.)
``Evening'' (Star-studded but tiresome, soggy soaper (based on, but changing Susan Minot’s novel) plays like a bad, endless miniseries; a saga of romance, tragedy and disappointment among East Coast WASPs, the film loops between 1950s and the present; Claire Danes as Ann, a 1950s bridesmaid at her aristocratic pal Lila's (Mamie Gummer) Newport, R.I., wedding, has a fling with a friend (Patrick Wilson), whom Lila secretly loves; Ann also breaks the heart of Lila's hard-drinking brother (Hugh Dancy); in the present, Vanessa Redgrave is the elderly, dying Ann, mumbling about a mysterious lost love; Toni Collette and Natasha Richardson (Redgrave's daughter) play her daughters; Meryl Streep visits as the elderly Lila (Streep is Gummer's mom). Muted start of a sexual situation; drinking; smoking; profanity; out-of-wedlock pregnancy; sexual orientation theme; back view nudity; hit-and-run accident. Mature teens.)
``1408'' (John Cusack carries this nifty, low-tech spook-fest (based on a Stephen King tale) easily on his Everyman shoulders as a gloomy writer who debunks ghost stories; a tip about room 1408 in a Manhattan hotel beckons; the grim manager (Samuel L. Jackson) warns him, to no avail; as soon as he enters 1408, the nightmarish events start, eventually using his grief over a dead child as fuel; images include flashbacks to her illness, meeting her in the afterlife, her body then crumbling to ash, suicide spirits jumping out windows; murderous figures lunging at him; nongraphic but bloody photos of past 1408 victims; room bursts into flame, breaks apart; strongish profanity; drinking; rare smoking; strong suicide theme. May upset some middle-schoolers; not really for preteens.)
-- AN R:
``A Mighty Heart" (Totally involving you-are-there dramatization of the ordeal of Mariane Pearl, widow of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl, who was abducted and murdered in 2002 by Islamist jihadists in Pakistan; based on her memoir, the film recounts how the pregnant Mariane (Angelina Jolie, in a fine, humble turn), a journalist herself, worked with colleagues, U.S. embassy people and Pakistani officials to try to find Pearl (Dan Futterman). Intense scene of implied torture during Pakistani interrogation -- a man hangs by his arms, torture not graphically shown; gunplay; police break into homes; characters react to video of Pearl's beheading, but it is NOT shown; drinking; smoking. Mature high-schoolers.)
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