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"Balls of Fury" (PG-13, 1 hr., 30 min.)
Even high-schoolers into outrageous doofus comedies may find "Balls of Fury" lacking in serious bounce. The jokes in this extreme pingpong farce land with the dull thunk of a cracked pingpong ball. Created by Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon, who wrote the script for "Night at the Museum" (PG, 2006) and collaborated to make "Reno 911!: Miami" (R, 2007) -- based on their semi-improvised cable show -- "Balls of Fury" feels improvised in a bad way, as though they just ran out of script. It clunks along on corny ethnic stereotypes and gay jokes, interspersed with martial-arts violence played for laughs, chopsticks-up-the-nose-or-in-the-crotch gags, midrange profanity, toilet humor, drinking and smoking. An extended, though nonexplicit joke about male sex slaves makes it rather inappropriate for middle-schoolers.
Randy Daytona (Dan Fogler, a Tony winner for the stage hit "The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee") was a child prodigy in the world of competitive table tennis, but dropped out after his dad (Robert Patrick) was murdered by Asian gangsters for losing a wager on Randy. The adult prodigy, haunted by personal and pingpong losses, lives off cheesy table tennis stunts at clubs in Reno. Then an FBI agent (George Lopez) gets him to re-enter competition as a way of catching the man who killed his dad -- the evil pingpong fancier, Feng (Christopher Walken in flamboyant robes and wigs). Randy hones his skills with a blind master (James Hong) and his niece (Maggie Q), a pingpong/martial-arts dynamo. Then it's off to Feng's hideaway to survive a life-and-death table tennis competition.
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"Duck" (LIMITED RELEASE) (PG-13, 1 hr., 38 min.)
In an age when street people often become the objects of fear, ridicule or abuse, this little parable, sentimental and unpolished as it is, reminds us that the operative word in "street people" is "people," as in "human beings." Writer/director Nic Bettauer's story of a homeless widower and his pet duck suffers from amateurish production values and a script that dips too often into cliches, yet it has soul. Teens with empathy might find "Duck" quite affecting despite its flaws. The film includes two scenes in which characters prepare to commit suicide -- one with pills, one by jumping off a fire escape, but neither goes through with it. There are harsh moments in which sanitation workers harass the old man and his pet. We get brief glimpses of sores on homeless men's feet, of the baby duck's squished siblings and of a live duck with its neck caught in a plastic six-pack holder. The film contains rare profanity, smoking and drinking.
Set in 2009, when the new president is supposedly Jeb Bush and social services are shrinking, "Duck" is the tale of Arthur (Philip Baker Hall, the king of minimalist screen acting). Broke from paying for his late wife's care, still grieving for a son who died young, the World War II vet goes to an empty Los Angeles park to take an overdose. Then an orphaned duckling waddles up to him. He adopts it, names it Joe (the adult duck is played by the duck from the AFLAC commercial, we're told), takes it home, and chooses life. Soon evicted, the pair move to the park full time, then try to avoid harassment and make their way to the beach.
P.S. FOR TEENS: If you're moved by "Duck," you might like a book called "The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter" by Carson McCullers and the excellent film with the same title (Unrated, 1968), about a lonely, deaf and mute man and his friendship with an equally lonely teen (Sondra Locke) in the home where he rents a room. Like Arthur in "Duck," the man helps people he meets, though he's the one with more problems.
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BEYOND THE RATINGS GAME
-- OK FOR 8 AND OLDER
"Underdog" PG (Human and beagle actors put heart and yowl into their roles, so this live-action update (with digital effects) of 1960s and '70s TV 'toon will entertain kids; a mad scientist (Peter Dinklage) transforms a K-9 unit dropout into a superpowered talking pooch; the dog escapes and is unwittingly adopted by Dan (Jim Belushi) for his son Jack (Alex Neuberger); the dog clues Jack in on his superpowers and the two create Underdog, the canine crime fighter. Mildly scary bits could upset under-8s -- a giant syringe (no injection shown), chases, fights, explosions, abductions, interrupted robberies; Jack's schoolmate (Taylor Momsen) and her dog get mugged, but are fine; canine sexual innuendo, toilet humor.)
-- MORE ACCESSIBLE TO KIDS 10 AND OLDER
"Mr. Bean's Holiday" G (Youngsters may grin at the antics of actor Rowan Atkinson's barely verbal, largely clueless, very odd Mr. Bean (first introduced on British TV), with his rubber face and limbs, leaving chaos in his wake; he earns laughs lip-syncing to an aria, eating shellfish, shells and all; but the film is uneven and problematic; in this second feature (after "Bean," PG-13, 1997) Mr. B wins a trip to Cannes (the famous film fest is nicely spoofed); Bean accidentally causes a boy (Max Baldry) and his filmmaker dad (Karel Roden) to get separated on their way to Cannes; two-thirds of the film consists of his efforts to get the stranded boy back to his dad, and that feels weird; today's kids learn never to talk to strangers, let alone travel with them; it warrants a PG.)
-- PG-13s OF VARYING INTENSITY
"Balls of Fury" (NEW) (Fatally unfunny pingpong/kung-fu farce feels improvised -- and not in a good way; Randy Daytona (Broadway actor Dan Fogler), a former table tennis prodigy, languishes in Reno doing pingpong stunts at clubs; an FBI guy (George Lopez) gets him back into competition as a way of flushing out the pingpong-fancying gangster (Christopher Walken, in flamboyant robes and wigs) who killed Randy's dad (Robert Patrick) years before (shown in a prologue). Awful ethnic stereotypes; bad gay jokes (mostly nonexplicit), including a subplot about male sex slaves; comedic martial-arts violence; chopsticks-up-the-nose-and-in-the-crotch; midrange profanity; toilet humor; smoking; drinking. Too lewd for middle-schoolers.)
"Duck" (NEW; LIMITED RELEASE) (Touching parable -- though raggedly made and often cliched -- reminds us that homeless people are indeed (BEG ITAL)people(END ITAL); Arthur (Philip Baker Hall), a broke widower in 2009 Los Angeles, is about to take an overdose in the park when an orphaned duckling waddles up to him; he adopts it and calls it Joe (played as an adult by the duck from the AFLAC ads); the two are soon evicted from Arthur's flat and go to live in the park; evicted again, they set out on a trek to the beach. Two intended suicides don't go through with it; sanitation workers harass Arthur and Joe; sores on homeless men's feet; glimpse of the duckling's squashed siblings; a live duck with its neck caught in a plastic six-pack holder; rare profanity; smoking; drinking. Sensitive teens.)
"The Nanny Diaries" (Witty, watchable, if lightweight tale (based on the novel by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus) stars Scarlett Johansson as Annie, a bright but directionless college grad who hires on as nanny with a rich, dysfunctional Park Avenue couple, Mr. and Mrs. X (Paul Giamatti and the great Laura Linney), to care for their preschooler (Nicholas Reese Art); film is a diverting mix of anthropological observation, arch satire, real emotion, and visual panache; Chris Evans (Johnny Storm in the "Fantastic Four" films) as the "Harvard Hottie" upstairs; singer Alicia Keys as Annie's pal. A steamy kiss; implied overnight liaison; hints of Mr. X's adultery -- canoodling with a colleague; drinking; smoking; rare strong profanity. Too adult for 'tweens.)
"Resurrecting the Champ" (A callow sports reporter (Josh Hartnett) tries to jump-start his career by profiling a homeless ex-boxer (Samuel L. Jackson) who claims to have been a one-time contender; Jackson's terrific performance keeps the film (based in part on a 1997 Los Angeles Times article) standing for a while, but Hartnett's weak characterization and other narrative mush finally knock it out. Nongraphic boxing scenes with bloody noses, swollen eyes; upsetting scenes show drunken bullies beating up the Champ; one use of the F-word; mild sexual innuendo; drinking, smoking; verbal references to an abusive childhood, with a scar to show for it.)
"Rush Hour 3" (Hong Kong police inspector Lee (Jackie Chan) and L.A.P.D. detective Carter (Chris Tucker) reunite (after "Rush Hour," 1998, and "Rush Hour 2," 2001, PG-13s) to fight Asian triad crime syndicates in Paris; plot makes no sense, but formula still makes laughs. Martial-arts face-offs with fists, blades, sticks, including a cool Eiffel Tower fight; high-speed chases; gunplay; leering but nonthreatening sexual innuendo (and a bit of sexism); ethnic, racial stereotypes spoofed; racial slurs implied by first letters only; implied toplessness among dancers; briefly lewd but nonexplicit sexual situation; rare profanity.)
"Stardust" (Lavish, at times overdone, but always amusing fairy tale (based on Neil Gaiman's graphic novel) looks antique but sounds breezily modern; a young man (Charlie Cox) from an English village, crosses into a magical kingdom to retrieve a fallen star, which turns out to be a young woman (Claire Danes) needing protection from a witch (Michelle Pfeiffer) and others who intend to cut out her heart. Witches gouge animal entrails (barely off-camera); nongory but harsh stabbings, bone-snappings; mild sexual innuendo; implied trysts; implied nudity; rare profanity; themes deal gently, comically with sexual identity (Robert De Niro as a cross-dressing pirate), unwed pregnancy.)
"The Bourne Ultimatum" (Hyperkinetic thriller -- gloriously dizzying and cleverly paranoid -- is a stunning finale to the Bourne trilogy ("The Bourne Identity," 2002; "The Bourne Supremacy," 2004, PG-13s), updating Robert Ludlum's Cold War novels to the terror-tainted present; Matt Damon as amnesiac CIA assassin Jason Bourne, gets to the source of his identity, and why most (but not all) CIA suits want him dead. Violence approaches bloody R levels in bone-crushing fights, lethal gunplay; foot chases, car chases are breathlessly shot and could induce motion sickness in some; mild profanity. Best for high-school thriller buffs.)
"The Simpsons Movie" (Ridiculously funny feature-length episode of the animated TV show loses momentum midway, but recoups; it is subversive and tasteless, but never raunchy; boneheaded patriarch Homer (voice of Dan Castellaneta) pollutes Lake Springfield, causing the EPA to quarantine the town under a dome; the Simpsons barely escape lynching. Son Bart (voice of Nancy Cartwright), on a dare from Homer, skateboards naked, giving a glimpse of his sketchily drawn "doodle"; characters drink and smoke -- including, at times, kids; spoof of pious Christians; mildly crude language; rare profanity; brief bedroom scene with Homer and Marge (Julie Kavner); two male cops kiss, check into a motel; robot suicide gag. Such jokes may be lost on kids 10 to 13, but with parental OKs they'll still judge the film a riot.)
-- R's
"War" (NEW) (Ultra-violent, hard-to-follow thriller about FBI agent (Jason Statham) tracking down a phantom Asian hit man, Rogue (Jet Li), he believes shot his partner (Terry Chen) and his partner's wife and child, then burned them up three years earlier (shown in a prologue); Rogue reappears to trigger a gang war between Chinese triads and Japanese yakuza. Gun battles with graphic, bloody injuries at point-blank range, sword and dagger fights, with throat-slittings, ear-slashings, impalements; grisly crime scene photos; children in mortal danger; dog with explosive collar; strong profanity; graphic sexual situation; topless dancers and other female near-nudity; toilet humor; smoking; drinking. Not for under-17s.)
"Death at a Funeral" (LIMITED RELEASE) (After a shaky start, this funeral farce stirs up a fine froth of hilarity with a fab British cast. Struggling writer Daniel (Matthew Macfadyen -- Mr. Darcy in "Pride & Prejudice," PG, 2005) tries to organize his father's funeral at the family's English country house, but: first, the wrong body is delivered; then, a cousin's fiance (Alan Tudyk) freaks out on hallucinogens mistaken for tranquilizers; and a stranger (Peter Dinklage) hints Daniel's dad had a secret sex life. Drug humor; strong profanity; drinking; smoking; nudity; body falls out of coffin; strong sexual innuendo; homophobic humor; gross toilet humor. Not for under-17s.)
"Superbad" (Lewd, riotous teen comedy about high-school buds Seth (Jonah Hill) and Evan (Michael Cera); smart but dorky, they're heading to different colleges and desperate to lose their virginity first; a kid (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) even geekier than they uses a fake ID to get booze for them to bring to a party, but he's delayed by two idiot cops (Bill Hader and Seth Rogen; Rogen, star of R-rated "Knocked Up," co-wrote this script). Highly explicit sexual language; drugs, drunkenness; squirm-inducing comic scene about menstrual blood; graphic drawings of male sex organs; semiexplicit sexual situations -- mild compared to the language; the boys' desperate naivete saves film from seeming obscene. 17 and older.)
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