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"Sydney White" (PG-13, 1 hr., 45 min.)
This re-imagining of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" as a college comedy (the title ought to be "Sydney White and the Seven Dorks") has its clever moments, even though most of the movie is as formulaic as any teen-flick-by-committee Hollywood grinds out. Star Amanda Bynes, despite oddly unflattering hair and makeup, brings a perky, good-sport persona to the proceedings that helps, even if her acting rarely gets below the surface. Teens will surely find amusement in "Sydney White," even if they can predict the story. It may, however, be an iffy choice for some middle-schoolers, as it includes considerable, though fairly mild, sexual innuendo, semicrude sexual language ("booty" and other non-obscene synonyms), implications of promiscuity among college kids, and a matter-of-fact portrayal of a club for gay, lesbian and transgender students. There are references to beer and implied drinking at parties, students who appear hung-over, young women in tight or low-cut outfits, modestly implied male nudity, toilet humor, mild profanity, and jokes about overweight kids.
Sydney (Bynes) is a smart, good-hearted tomboy. Her plumber dad (John Schneider) sends her off to college where she hopes to honor her long-dead mother's memory by pledging her sorority. But Sydney finds Rachel (Sara Paxton), the sorority president and all-round campus rhymes-with-witch, has turned the house into a snobby palace from which she looks down on those she deems unworthy. Rachel sees Sydney as a rival and tosses her out. Suddenly homeless, Sydney lands in a ramshackle old frat house where seven socially inept brainiacs reside. The hypochondriac Lenny (Jack Carpenter -- read his character as Sneezy) invites her in, though she dissed him early on as part of a sorority initiation thing. Her confidence renewed, Sydney takes on Rachel and her clique of too-thin blondes, winning the heart of a frat boy named Tyler Prince (prince, get it?), blandly played by Matt Long. And the poison apple comes in the form of a ... oh, but that would be telling.
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"Good Luck Chuck" (R, 1 hr., 39 min.)
A romantic comedy in the bawdy tradition begun by this summer's R-rated hits "Superbad" and "Knocked Up," "Good Luck Chuck" (oh heavens, is it a tradition already?) serves up a few real laughs and lewd cackles, but it is far from a riot. It lacks something the other two films have -- charm, believe it or not, and a kind of authenticity. As those other, better films have done, "Good Luck Chuck" will likely draw some high-school kids under 17. However, the movie's explicit sexual content, frequent seminudity (toplessness) and graphic sexual slang -- some of it spoken in a prologue by 10-year-old kids playing spin the bottle -- make it problematic for anyone 17 or younger. It also contains standard profanity, a homophobic slur, drinking and drug humor.
The laughs in "Good Luck Chuck" rarely seem uncontrived, despite a winning turn by Jessica Alba as Cam, an accident-prone penguin keeper at an oceanic park, and a likable one by comedian/actor Dane Cook as Charlie, a commitment-phobic dentist whose reputation as a serial lover becomes a burden after he falls for Cam, who won't go out with him. The story hinges on a moment in the prologue when the shy 10-year-old Charlie (Connor Price) rejects the advances of a mini-Goth girl (Sasha Pieterse) who puts a hex on him. The hex seems real to Charlie in his 30s: Every woman he beds marries the next guy she dates. He becomes a good luck charm -- women jump him and leave him. Most of the movie objectifies pretty women and mortifies homely ones, but then Charlie gets a taste of what it's like to be an object. His crude pal Stu (Dan Fogler), a plastic surgeon obsessed with breasts, thinks Charlie is lucky, but Charlie is lonely.
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BEYOND THE RATINGS GAME
-- MORE ACCESSIBLE TO KIDS 10 AND ODLER:
"Mr. Bean's Holiday" G (Youngsters may grin at the antics of actor Rowan Atkinson as the semi-verbal, very odd Mr. Bean (first introduced on British TV), with his rubbery face and limbs, always leaving chaos in his wake; he earns laughs lip-syncing to an aria, eating shellfish with the shells on; but the film is uneven and problematic; in this second Bean film (after "Bean," PG-13, 1997) he wins a trip to Cannes (the famous film fest is well-spoofed); Bean accidentally causes a boy (Max Baldry) and his filmmaker dad (Karel Roden) to be separated on their way to Cannes; his wacky efforts to get the stranded kid back to his dad feel weird; today's kids learn never to talk to strangers, let alone travel with them; it warrants a PG.)
-- PG-13s OF VARYING INTENSITY AND A GREAT DOCUMENTARY FOR TEENS:
"Sydney White" (NEW) (Perky, likable Amanda Bynes in an occasionally clever, but too often formulaic romantic comedy intended as an update of "Snow White"; Sydney (Bynes) is a smart, pretty, unaffected tomboy who starts college hoping to pledge her late mom's sorority, only to find it run by a witchy snob (Sara Paxton); Sydney moves into an old frat house with seven brainiac outcasts (the "dwarfs"), gives the wicked sorority queen her comeuppance and finds romance with a nice frat guy (Matt Long). Considerable, though pretty mild, sexual innuendo; semi-crude sexual slang ("booty" and other non-obscene synonyms); implications of promiscuity among college kids; matter-of-fact portrayal of a club for gay, lesbian and transgender students; references to drinking; students appear hung-over; young women in tight or low-cut outfits; modestly implied male nudity; toilet humor; mild profanity; jokes about overweight kids. Iffy choice for some middle-schoolers.)
"Dragon Wars" (also known as "D-War") (NEW) (Cheesy, utterly incomprehensible action fantasy from South Korea about dragon creatures of ancient legend who fight out their good vs. evil battle in modern times through a young woman (Amanda Brooks) marked to be a conduit for the good dragon, and a young man (Jason Behr) destined to be her protector; FBI agents and the U.S. Army join in; incoherent saga, except perhaps to dragon tale fanciers who know the genre; lines such as "Rise, Atrox army ... the time has come again!" Many fiery, serpentine confrontations with sword, spear and lethal dragon tails; great destruction of property and apparent human victims, but no gore; dinosaur-esque creatures from ancient battles appear in the present; gunplay; rare profanity. Not for anyone phobic about reptilian creatures.)
"Across the Universe" (NEW; LIMITED RELEASE) (Ravishing, if not always coherent musical from theater genius Julie Taymor, weaves later Beatles songs into a 1960s love story among artistic and activist teens working for anti-war groups in Greenwich Village and at Columbia University; Lucy (Evan Rachel Wood) joins an underground newspaper; her slacker brother Max (Joe Anderson) drops out of Princeton and gets drafted; Jude (Jim Sturgess), a Liverpudlian visiting Princeton, falls for Lucy; the unrest grows; the songs, performed by the cast, mesh beautifully, as do inspired dance sequences and counter-culture visuals; a Janis Joplin type (Dana Fuchs); a Jimmy Hendrix type (Martin Luther McCoy); cameos by Joe Cocker, Bono, Eddie Izzard. Drug use; psychedelic references; drinking; smoking; profanity; implied promiscuity; war footage. Some high-schoolers will love the romanticized take on the '60s -- not for younger teens.)
"In the Shadow of the Moon" PG (NEW; LIMITED RELEASE) (Stirring documentary by David Sington about NASA's Apollo program (the lunar orbits and landings) of the 1960s and early 1970s, featuring spectacular footage and interviews with 10 Apollo astronauts (Neil Armstrong, the first to set foot on the moon and always a private soul, did not participate). References to drinking; footage of guys smoking in Mission Control, of bombing missions in Vietnam War; toilet humor. Teens (or younger kids with the right stuff) interested in science and/or space flight.)
"December Boys" (NEW; LIMITED RELEASE) (Mildly diverting, if heavy-handed coming-of-age tale (based on Michael Noonan's novel) features "Harry Potter" star Daniel Radcliffe (an underwhelming actor when not surrounded by cinematic glitz) as the eldest of a quartet of parentless Australian boys in the 1960s; the nuns at their orphanage send them on a Christmas holiday to the seaside home of a retired military man (Jack Thompson) and his ailing wife (Kris McQuade); the younger boys (Lee Cormie, Christian Byers and James Fraser) vie for the affections of a neighboring couple, in hopes of being adopted, while the elder (Radcliffe) has his first romance. Steamy but nonexplicit sexual initiation scene; other sexual innuendo; nudity; theme about illness, death; drinking, smoking by kids and adults; rare profanity; crude humor. More for literary-minded high-schoolers.)
"Mr. Woodcock" (Crude but intermittently amusing comedy about John (Seann William Scott), a successful young author of a self-help book; back in his hometown to receive an award, he finds his long-widowed mom (Susan Sarandon) in love with his one-time gym teacher, Mr. Woodcock (Billy Bob Thornton), an unsmiling macho-man John remembers as a destroyer of kids' self-esteem; sharp dialogue and actors who don't oversell the jokes lift script above the norm. Lewd, profane humor sometimes nears R range; crude euphemisms for sex; John, hiding under Woodcock's bed, hears his mom and the gym teacher make love as the mattress bounces; toilet humor; smoking; drinking; mean gags about kids who stutter, have asthma. Too lewd and profane for most middle-schoolers.)
"Balls of Fury" (Fatally unfunny Ping-Pong/kung-fu farce feels improvised, but not in a good way; Randy Daytona (Dan Fogler), a former table tennis prodigy, languishes in Reno doing Ping-Pong stunts at clubs; an FBI guy (George Lopez) gets him back into competition to help flush out the table tennis-fancying gangster (Christopher Walken) who killed Randy's dad (shown in a prologue). Awful ethnic stereotypes; bad gay jokes (mostly nonexplicit), including a subplot about male sex slaves; comedic martial-arts violence; chopsticks-up-the-nose-or-in-the-crotch gags; midrange profanity; toilet humor; smoking; drinking. Too lewd for middle-schoolers.)
-- R's:
"Good Luck Chuck" (NEW) (Raunchy romantic comedy offers laughs and lewd cackles, but feels crass, contrived, lacking in charm, despite likable turns by Jessica Alba as an accident prone penguin keeper and Dane Cook as Charlie, a promiscuous single dentist who falls for her but cannot convince her he's true; film hinges on the idea (shown in a prologue) that he was hexed as a 10-year-old by a girl he spurned at a make-out party: women have sex with Charlie because they believe it will cause them to meet their true love next -- they love and leave him; his swinish pal (Dan Fogler) thinks it's great, but Charlie is lonely. Explicit sexual content; frequent seminudity (toplessness); graphic sexual slang -- some of it spoke by 10-year-olds playing spin the bottle; standard profanity; homophobic slur; drinking; drug humor. More for college age.)
"In the Valley of Elah" (NEW; LIMITED RELEASE) (Tommy Lee Jones in an award-worthy turn as Hank, the father of a soldier who apparently goes AWOL after returning from the Iraq War; director/co-writer Paul Haggis examines the effects of war on those who fight it; film is thoughtful, beautifully acted, but a tad ponderous; Hank, a veteran and former MP, leaves his worried wife (Susan Sarandon) to investigate their son's disappearance, joining a police detective (Charlize Theron in a fine somber turn) to fight the military's odd secrecy about it; Hank's core beliefs are badly shaken. Burned body parts; grisly description of battlefield violence, a murder; grim, if hard-to-see video footage of urban warfare, implied torture; a hanging suicide; strong profanity; sexual language; racial slurs; seminudity; suggestive dancing; drinking; smoking; drug references. OK for thoughtful teens 16 and up.)
"The Brave One" (Jodie Foster in a searing performance as a New York radio personality -- a poet of the neighborhoods -- who, with her fiance (Naveen Andrews), is severely beaten by muggers; her fiance dies; she recovers, but is altered by grief, rage, post-traumatic stress, and becomes a vigilante killer; for all its literacy, the film seems to glorify lawlessness; Foster's acting redeems it, along with Terrence Howard's powerful, nuanced turn as a police detective. Stylized but very graphic violence -- point-blank shootings, stabbings, skull-crushing beatings; semiexplicit sex scenes (flashbacks with partial nudity of Erica and her fiance); violent scene with a drug addict holding a young prostitute hostage; profanity; crude sexual language, smoking; drinking. Not for under-17s.)
"3:10 to Yuma" (Russell Crowe and Christian Bale spar with guns, philosophy and charisma in this terrific -- and terrifically bloody -- Western (based on an Elmore Leonard short story and a 1957 film), with sparky dialogue and gorgeous vistas corralled by director James Mangold; in the Arizona Territory, rancher Dan Evans (Bale), a Civil War vet with a wrecked leg, signs on to escort notorious criminal Ben Wade (Crowe) to the train for transport to court; Evans needs cash to save his ranch and yearns to be a hero in his older boy's (Logan Lerman) eyes; Wade is murderous and charming; his vicious right-hand man (Ben Foster) and gang of killer thieves stalk the posse. Bloody gunplay; gory wounds; profanity; drinking; smoking; implied sexual tryst; racial slurs. 17 and up.)
"Halloween" (Remake by director/musician/writer Rob Zombie of 1978 John Carpenter slasher classic (this is No. 9 in the "Halloween" lexicon); well acted and shot, but grossly violent, profane and sexually explicit (with nudity) -- more modern, perhaps, but also very ordinary -- whereas the original film used more dread than gore; new film focuses on serial killer Michael Myers' (Daeg Faerch as the boy; Tyler Mane as the adult) abused childhood; young Michael commits horrific murders, is sent to an asylum, treated by a kindly doctor (Malcolm McDowell), grows into a hulking man, escapes, heads home on a killing rampage. Smoking and drinking. Not for under-17s or squeamish older teens.)
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