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"Fool's Gold" (PG-13, 1 hr., 52 min.)
If ever a movie lived up to its title it's this one. "Fool's Gold" is a fake romantic adventure comedy. Everything about it feels artificial and forced, with a painfully contrived plot and co-stars (Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson) who exhibit little screen chemistry despite dialogue about their characters' steamy history.
McConaughey, as an irresponsible undersea treasure hunter, spends three-quarters of the film showing off his physique, while Hudson as his scholarly, soon-to-be ex-wife looks pained. Supporting characters are poorly developed and stereotyped. Teens may enjoy the gorgeous scenery (intended as the Caribbean, but actually shot in Australia) and stunt action, but they are unlikely to be intrigued by the romance or the convoluted speeches about which 18th-century Spanish adventurer hid the treasure where. Not quite for middle-schoolers, the movie contains a lot of mayhem, some of it comically intended -- gunfire, fighting, some blood -- as well as profanity, crude language, brief toplessness, much mild sexual innuendo, brief scenes that imply sexual situations out of camera range, and drinking.
McConaughey plays Ben "Finn" Finnegan. On the day he and Tess (Hudson) are to meet in Key West to sign divorce papers, he has had to escape a gangster/rap star (Kevin Hart) and his goons (Malcolm-Jamal Warner and Brian Hooks), who own the island and want the treasure Finn has been searching for. Tess has been supporting herself as a steward on a yacht. Of course, she gets drawn into Finn's situation, as does her boss (Donald Sutherland) and his party-girl daughter (Alexis Dziena). The one useful message the film offers is that playing dumb isn't attractive in girls.
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"Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins" (PG-13, 1 hr., 53 min.)
A comedy should make you laugh and "Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins" is a riot, despite the broadness of its humor, the predictability of its story, and the one-dimensionality of its characters. It is still a tonic because it is boisterous and good- hearted and filled with highly gifted comic actors who know their way around a line, a sidelong glance and a double take. The humor is a little raunchy, with a lot of verbal and visual sexual innuendo, the dialogue is often profane with much sexual slang and occasional racial slurs, and there is implied nudity -- all of which makes the movie an iffy choice for middle-schoolers. This is a PG-13 that's really more for high-schoolers. There are also subtler themes about bullying and parents who inadvertently withhold affection.
Martin Lawrence stars as the title character, a successful TV shrink with a brittle trophy fiancee (Joy Bryant) and a somewhat neglected young son (Damani Roberts). They travel to Georgia for his parents' anniversary. Once there, he discovers that his stern father (James Earl Jones) and oversized (in stature and personality) siblings (Michael Clarke Duncan and Mo'Nique), think he's gotten a little above himself. As they set about knocking him down to size, he realizes he still yearns for his childhood love Lucinda (Nicole Ari Parker), still feels a rivalry with Cousin Clyde (Cedric the Entertainer) and still can be swindled by Cousin Reggie (Mike Epps). Everything is larger than life in "Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins," including the laughs, but they never drown out the humanity.
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BEYOND THE RATINGS GAME
-- OK FOR KIDS 6 AND OLDER:
"Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour" PG (NEW) -- The close-ups of ecstatic little girls in the audience during this cotton-candy concert spectacle crystallize the love that tweens -- and girls either side of them in age -- have for singer/actress Miley Cyrus and her Disney Channel persona, a teen with a secret life as pop star Hannah Montana. Shot in digital 3-D (guitar picks really jump out at you, as do little fans' waving arms, and confetti), the movie showcases Cyrus singing and dancing as Hannah Montana, then as herself. Kids will love the backstage "reality" moments, such as dance rehearsals and Miley teaching her dad, country star Billy Ray Cyrus, a song. The costumes are sparkly but never revealing, nor is Cyrus overaccessorized. The aerobic, cheerleaderish dancing only gets mildly provocative during a tango. The whole thing may be one big promotional music video, but for kids it's 74 minutes of harmless fun.
-- OK FOR KIDS 10 AND OLDER:
"National Treasure: Book of Secrets" PG -- This sequel (to "National Treasure" PG, 2004) is an overlong scavenger hunt that waters down history, but good actors in neat locations lend credibility to the fast- paced silliness. Kids 10 and older should be entertained. The heroes nose around Buckingham Palace, the Library of Congress, Mount Rushmore and the Oval Office as treasure hunter Ben Gates (Nicolas Cage) and his dad (Jon Voight) try to disprove their ancestor was involved in the plot to assassinate Lincoln. The film re-enacts the assassination understatedly and includes another gun death, car and gun mayhem, foot chases, floods, sexual innuendo and toilet humor.
-- PG-13s OF VARYING INTENSITY:
"Fool's Gold" (NEW) -- Reflecting its title, this romantic adventure comedy feels artificial, with a torturously contrived plot and co-stars (Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson) who exhibit little screen chemistry. McConaughey, ever shirtless, plays a reckless treasure hunter who gets on the wrong side of a violent rap star (Kevin Hart) and his goons (Malcolm-Jamal Warner and Brian Hooks) when he hunts for treasure off their Caribbean island. His scholarly wife (Hudson) is about to divorce him when she gets drawn into his dilemma, along with the millionaire (Donald Sutherland) on whose yacht she works and his party-girl daughter (Alexis Dziena). Not quite for middle-schoolers, the movie contains a lot of mayhem, some of it comic -- gunfire, fighting, some blood -- as well as profanity, crude language, brief toplessness, much mild sexual innuendo, scenes that imply sexual situations out of camera range, and drinking. Its one useful message is that girls shouldn't play dumb to get attention.
"Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins" (NEW) -- The jokes are broad and more than occasionally raunchy, and the story is cliched, but this movie is still a riot and a tonic, full of boisterous laughs and genuine humanity, embodied by a cast of expert comic actors. Martin Lawrence plays a famous TV shrink who goes home to Georgia with his brittle trophy fiancee (Joy Bryant) and somewhat neglected young son (Damani Roberts). There he finds that his stern father (James Earl Jones), his much larger siblings (Michael Clarke Duncan and Mo'Nique), his cousins (Mike Epps and Cedric the Entertainer) and his childhood sweetheart (Nicole Ari Parker) all think he's a tad too full of himself. The movie also touches on withheld parental affection and childhood bullying. It is an iffy choice for middle-schoolers, with much verbal and visual sexual innuendo, profane dialogue, crude sexual slang, occasional racial slurs, and implied nudity.
"The Eye" (NEW) -- In this tame thriller, Jessica Alba plays a blind concert violinist (not too convincingly) who gets an eye transplant and begins to see nightmarish images of people at the moment of their demise and the shadowy demon that pulls their spirits from their bodies. Her specialist (Alessandro Nivola) assumes it's the stress of regaining her sight after a near-lifetime of blindness. Adapted from a Taiwanese film, "The Eye" uses imaginative imagery, yet it lacks an essential eeriness. There are implied suicides, subplots about a terminally ill child and a child killed by an abusive father, images of people perishing in fires or explosions, a decaying face, bloodied eyes. There is subtly implied nudity, but no sexual content. OK for teens.
"The Hottie & the Nottie" (NEW) -- Paris Hilton does OK as long as her lines don't exceed seven or eight words in this stomach-churningly awful gross-out farce with romantic pretensions. Gorgeous Cristabelle (Hilton), who even knows her stalkers by name, has vowed to refuse all romantic offers until her homely best friend June (Christine Lakin) finds love. But June looks as though she's under a witch's spell -- scabby skin, rotten teeth and toenails, all exaggerated for the lens. Nate (Joel David Moore), a geeky loser who has worshipped Cristabelle since first grade, plots to find June a boyfriend so he, Nate, can woo the beauty. Aside from June's gross skin irritations, the movie contains sexual innuendo (Hilton has a speech about orgasms), sexual slang, toilet humor, drinking and occasional profanity.
"Over Her Dead Body" -- This ghost story/romantic comedy stays afloat despite a sitcomish premise, thanks to co-stars Paul Rudd and Lake Bell, plus Jason Biggs in a supporting role. They toss off verbal drollery and slapstick with panache. Eva Longoria Parker, in a one-note star turn, plays a bossy bride-to-be who gets beaned by an ice sculpture on her wedding day and lands, dead and unwed, in limbo. A year later, her still-grieving fiance (Rudd) goes to a "psychic-slash-caterer" (Bell) in hopes she'll contact his late fiancee. Instead, the psychic falls for him, so the bride haunts her. The film has low-level profanity, muted sexual innuendo, sexual slang, gay jokes, a clothed comic bedroom scene, and implied toplessness. Dog lovers may cringe at a bit in which vet techs keep dropping an overweight dog, though thuds and yelps are mostly off-camera. For teens who like character comedy and romantic tales.
"Meet the Spartans" -- If ever a film embodied a waste of time and money, it is "Meet the Spartans," a heavy-handed and rarely funny spoof of "300" (R), the 2007 blockbuster (based on a graphic novel), about the 480 B.C. Battle of Thermopylae between the outnumbered Spartans and the armies of Persia. This raunchy farce is loaded with gay innuendo and all kinds of other sexual and gross-out humor. Sean Maguire plays Sparta's King Leonidas and Carmen Electra his randy Queen Margo. There is endless crude language and profanity.
"27 Dresses" -- Co-stars Katherine Heigl and James Marsden lend starry fizz to this romantic comedy, tempering its often cringe-inducing view of modern womanhood. Heigl plays Jane, a perennial bridesmaid with a closetful of 27 hideous dresses to prove it. Marsden plays a cynical wedding columnist fascinated by her story. Even worse, Jane's vixenish younger sister (Malin Akerman) snares Jane's boss (Edward Burns), whom Jane not-so-secretly loves. The film includes rude sexual innuendo and slang, an implied sexual situation, occasional strong profanity, drinking, and toilet humor. It is less appropriate for middle-schoolers, but at least it shows the foolishness of using deception to win someone's heart.
-- R's:
"Rambo" -- Sylvester Stallone directed and stars in an excessively violent follow-up to the "Rambo" films of the 1980s (all R's). It is formulaic and predictable, but still pretty gripping. Stallone revisits his ex-Green Beret survivalist persona, now a snake wrangler in the jungles of Thailand, unsmiling and barely verbal as ever. When missionaries ask him to take them upriver into Burma to help peasants brutalized by Burmese soldiers, he grudgingly obliges, then must go back to rescue them in a bloody battle. The film depicts people, including children, blown apart by weapons fire and land mines, as well as stabbings, beheadings and implications about raping female hostages. The profanity is very strong. Not for under-17s.
"Strange Wilderness" (NEW) -- Slacker/stoner comedies are supposed to look lame and sloppy but deliver good satire to amuse older teens and college kids. "Strange Wilderness" is just lame and sloppy. Steve Zahn plays the doofus son of a TV wildlife documentarian. He tries to keep his late father's show going, but he and his crew are (a) idiots and (b) high. Along with its depiction of recreational drug use, the movie includes explicit sexual situations, sexual innuendo, toplessness, visual male genitalia jokes, strong profanity, shark attacks and other carnage, most of it not real-looking except for one gross scene with a dead zebra consumed by vultures. Not for under-17s because of the drug use.
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