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"Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears A Who!" (G, 1 hr., 26 min.)
True, they've had to expand this classic Dr. Seuss storybook to make a movie, but unlike the bloated and slightly grim live-action Seuss features "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (PG, 2000) and "The Cat in the Hat" (PG, 2003), this computer-animated take is a hoot-and-a-half. The animators have stayed true to the Seussian look, but given characters a three-dimensional feel -- a furriness to the high-haired Whos and a weight to Horton the Elephant and his pals in the Jungle of Nool. There's a neat contrast between the rainbow-hued jungle and Whoville, which looks like a Rube Goldberg-designed city done in clay-mation. It is the tiny city-on-a-speck whose denizens Horton hears faintly as it wafts by. He rescues the speck and places it on a clover, promising to find it a safe place -- all based on faith and good elephant ears. The voices are fine, too -- Jim Carrey as an ebullient Horton, Steve Carell as the slightly ditzy Mayor of Whoville. The two communicate by a miracle of sound convergence and each must overcome the ridicule of his peers and prove the other exists. In the jungle, it is snooty Kangaroo (Carol Burnett), who hates it that Horton's belief in Whoville encourages youngsters to use their imaginations. For the Mayor it's the Whoville town council, which calls him a boob. And for the Mayor's silent son Jo-Jo (a brother among 96 sisters), it is his own father who doesn't understand him. In the end, there's no deeper moral than Horton's "a person's a person, no matter how small."
Mostly "Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears A Who!" is pure fun, but there are moments that could scare kids 6 and younger. A scraggly, swooping bird of prey, Vlad (voice of Will Arnett), chases Horton to snatch and destroy the Whoville speck and the clover it rests on. Horton barely makes it across a rope bridge over a gorge as the bridge falls apart under his weight. Late in the film, a mob of jungle animals riled up by Kangaroo -- including the Wickershams, blue monkeys who act like a gang of bullies -- capture and cage Horton and don't back down until the Whos finally make enough noise in tiny Whoville for Horton's tormentors to believe they exist. Intercut with the harrowing rope bridge scene is a scary-funny bit with the Mayor of Whoville at the dentist and a hypodermic needle.
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"Never Back Down" (PG-13, 1 hr., 54 min.)
This gloomy teen saga offers a phony peace 'n love preachment about a hero who fights the good fight so he never has to fight again. In actual fact, it's all about pounding and getting pounded -- in slow-motion, with blood flying from smacked faces and bodies crumpling with cracked ribs. In between, it's about the loner teen protagonist (Sean Faris) training intensively in mixed martial arts under the eye of a tough, somber master (Djimon Hounsou) and sharing steamy glances at school with the prettiest girl (Amber Heard) who, of course, dates the biggest bully. If "Never Back Down" had an ounce of humor or truthfulness it might be bearable. Instead, it feels like you are getting beaten up along with the hero. Jake (Faris), his mom (Leslie Hope) and tennis prodigy kid brother (Wyatt Smith) have moved to Florida from Iowa, following the drunk-driving death of his dad. They are a blue-collar family in a townful of rich folks in McMansions. The high school's "mixed martial arts" champ and number one bully Ryan (Cam Gigandet) goads Jake, then beats him up. Jake starts training -- at least two montages set to music -- then he and Ryan face off at a "beat down."
Apart from intense fight mayhem, the film contains midrange profanity and crude language, sexual innuendo, implied toplessness, a make-out scene, gay jokes, a homosexual slur, and high-schoolers at a party where they seem to drink beer from plastic cups. A bullying father offers margaritas to his son's high-school friends and smacks his son. Jake has flashbacks about the death of his father and feels responsible because he didn't stop him from driving drunk.
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BEYOND THE RATINGS GAME
-- OK FOR KINDERGARTNERS ON UP:
"Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears A Who!" (NEW) -- This cracklingly good computer-animated take on Dr. Seuss' beloved storybook expands the tale without ruining it, and it is a hoot-and-a-half. The animators stay true to Seussian style, but add a three-dimensionality -- a furriness to the high-haired Whos of Whoville and a weight to Horton the Elephant (voice of Jim Carrey) and other creatures in the Jungle of Nool. And there's a neat contrast between the pastel jungle and the Rube Goldbergesque look of Whoville, that microscopic city-on-a-speck that Horton rescues, based on a faint sound he hears as it wafts by. (There's no moral deeper than Horton's: "a person's a person, no matter how small.") Horton and the ditzy Mayor of Whoville (Steve Carell), with his 96 daughters and one silent son, communicate by sound convergence. They must overcome the ridicule of their peers. Snooty Kangaroo (Carol Burnett) really hates it that Horton's faith in the Whos sparks Nool's youngsters to use their imaginations. A few moments could scare kids 6 and younger: Vlad (Will Arnett), a scraggly bird of prey, chases Horton and the speck, causing Whoville to shake. As Horton tries to carry it to safety, he crosses a rope bridge that crumbles. An angry mob captures Horton. There's a scary-funny scene with the Mayor of Whoville at the dentist and a hypodermic needle.
-- OK FOR KIDS 8 AND OLDER:
"College Road Trip" (NEW) -- If this family comedy were played any more broadly, the cast would be in clown outfits. Part slapstick farce, part sentimental saga about an overprotective dad (Martin Lawrence) who can't let go of his college-bound daughter (Raven-Symone), the movie is good-hearted, but painfully silly. It's geared more to young kids, starting around 7 or 8, who dream of being grown-up. Lawrence plays a police chief in suburban Chicago and Raven-Symone his college-age daughter, who is wait-listed at Georgetown and eager to go there for an interview. He insists on driving her. He thinks they have a great relationship, but she can't wait to get her freedom. Both actors mug and Raven-Symone seems especially stuck in sitcom land. There's little to scare youngsters, though some of the slapstick stunts may startle them: a potbellied pig going nuts on coffee beans (a don't-try-this-with-your-pet moment) and tearing through a wedding party; father and daughter sky-diving and screaming in terror; Dad getting tasered by an overcautious sorority mother.
-- OK FOR KIDS 10 AND OLDER:
"Penelope" PG -- This zingy modern-day fairy tale lets a fine cast loose on a clever mix of physical comedy, verbal wit and a touch of magic. "Penelope" should charm kids 10 and older. It is a nice parable about self-love, too. Christina Ricci plays Penelope, the latest descendent of an aristocratic family to inherit a curse -- a pig nose that can only be dispelled by the kiss of an upper-crust suitor. She has lived hidden from the world. Her mom (Catherine O'Hara) brings in potential fiances, but they run off screaming. A tabloid reporter (Peter Dinklage) hires a broke, blue-blooded gambler (James McAvoy) to woo Penelope. An edgier PG, the film has a brief, stylized suicide in the prologue -- someone jumping off a cliff. The "pig nose" is a dainty snout -- just nonhuman enough. There is drinking, smoking, mild sexual innuendo and semi-crude language.
"The Spiderwick Chronicles" (PG) -- The idea of kids visiting fairy realms is neat, but this film only captures some of the magic. It may be too intense for kids under 10 because it lacks enough humor to temper the scary bits. The magical creatures are mostly slobbering goblins, ogres, and trolls, all trying to kill the child protagonists, while the beautiful sprites and sylphs don't hover long enough to lighten the mood. Young Jared (Freddie Highmore), a boy with anger issues, moves with his twin brother Simon (also Highmore), teen sister (Sarah Bolger) and mom (Mary-Louise Parker) into an house inherited from an ancestor, Arthur Spiderwick (David Strathairn in flashback). Jared discovers Spiderwick's "Field Guide to the Fantastical World Around You," opens it and unleashes a dangerous magical dimension. There are scary chases and swordplay. The kids get gashes in their arms and we see lots of green goblin blood. There is a divorce theme.
-- PG-13s OF VARYING INTENSITY:
"Never Back Down" (NEW) -- This gloomy saga of a hero who fights the good fight so he never has to fight again pretends to be about peace 'n love. In fact, it's about pounding and getting pounded -- close-up or in slow-motion, with blood flying from smacked faces and bodies crumpling with cracked ribs. Jake Tyler (Sean Faris), a strong silent loner haunted by the recent drunk-driving death of his dad, moves with his family from Iowa to Orlando. The new school's "mixed martial arts" champ Ryan (Cam Gigandet) goads Jake, then beats him up. Jake hones his skills with a somber trainer (Djimon Hounsou). Ryan's girlfriend (Amber Heard) drops the bully for the hero and the rivals face off in a "beat down" contest. Apart from intense fight mayhem, "Never Back Down" has midrange profanity, sexual innuendo, gay jokes, a homophobic slur, implied toplessness, a make-out scene and a party where teens seem to drink beer. A bullying dad offers cocktails to his son's friends and smacks his son.
"10,000 BC" (NEW) -- Whatever thrills and eye candy this prehistoric adventure flick offers to teens, it negates them with intellectual loopiness. Many people already think dinosaurs and humans walked the Earth simultaneously. Now, thanks to "10,000 BC," they'll also think it's only a couple of days on foot between the the snowy peaks of Central Asia and equatorial Africa, and that the pyramids of Egypt were built 8,000 years before scholars say they were, with woolly mammoths doing the heavy lifting. An Ice Age hunter (Steven Strait) and two comrades (Cliff Curtis and Mo Zinal) track the "four-legged demons" (marauding slave traders on horseback) who violently raided their village and abducted his beloved (Camilla Belle). They pass into balmy lands, forge an alliance with African warriors and go after the pyrmid-building slavers. Wounds from spear, ax and bow-and-arrow are not graphic. The abductors make an implied threat of rape. A giant ostrich-dinosaur hybrid stalks the jungle and rips into humans, mostly off-camera. OK for most teens.
"Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day" -- High-schoolers who like romantic comedies with a continental flair ought to smile at this confection, which teeters on the edge of too-cute, but mostly charms. Set in late 1930s London as World War II looms, it follows a dowdy middle-aged governess, Miss Pettigrew (wonderful Frances McDormand), who is suddenly jobless, homeless and hungry. Rebuffed by her employment agency, she steals the address of a client -- a dithery, promiscuous young actress (Amy Adams), in need of a social secretary. Miss Pettigrew spends the next 24 hours helping the actress untangle her love life and navigate cafe-society, acquiring a little glamour and romance herself along the way. There is much sexual innuendo, most of it frisky but not raunchy, and implied nudity. Characters smoke, drink, throw punches and use rare profanity. The film has an anti-promiscuity theme and a feminist subtext.
"The Other Boleyn Girl" -- Part epic, part bodice-ripper, this lush film does a decent job of working in factoids about King Henry VIII's early reign, but don't let high-schoolers think it is accurate on the personal level. The film merely imagines how a conniving Anne Boleyn (Natalie Portman) and her naive sister Mary (Scarlett Johansson) compete to seduce the young king (Eric Bana) in order to increase their family's status. The film shows no explicit sexual situations, yet it includes a strongly implied rape and depicts consensual encounters in a stylized, steamy way. It includes frank, though nonexplicit talk of sex and out-of-wedlock pregnancies, and strongly depicts births and miscarriages with a hint of blood. There is also an incest theme. Of the inevitable beheadings, we never see blade touch neck, but there is a distinct sound. Not for middle-schoolers.
"Vantage Point" -- A neat little thriller with a clever conceit, "Vantage Point" doesn't hold up under plot analysis, yet it works. Dennis Quaid plays a tense Secret Service agent assigned to protect the U.S. president (William Hurt), in Spain to sign a peace accord. During the public ceremony there is a terror attack. The movie keeps doubling back to tell the story from different angles, each time revealing a bit more. Forest Whitaker is fun as a tourist who witnesses it all. There is a suicide bomber, other bombings, shootings, a child shown in mortal danger. There is some midrange profanity. The depiction of wounds and corpses is never graphic, but there is too much terror imagery for many middle-schoolers.
-- R's:
"The Bank Job" -- Inspired by a famous 1971 London bank vault break-in, this caper flick is smart, quick, wry and rich in atmosphere, though occasionally hard to follow. It cleverly blends fact and fantasy to imply that news coverage of the break-in was stifled because scandalous photos of prominent royals and government bigwigs were in the safe deposit boxes alongside the jewels and cash. Jason Statham plays a blue-collar Londoner drawn into the break-in gig. Soon he and his co-burglars are hunted by secret agents and thugs. There are scenes of implied torture, a gun murder, scantily clad, sometimes topless women depicted as prostitutes, nonexplicit sexual situations -- including in a brothel and a porn film -- strong profanity, smoking, drinking, drug references and crude humor. Not appropriate fare for most under-17s.
"Semi-Pro" -- In comedy, as in sports, if your timing is off, you're in trouble. This tedious, unfunny Will Ferrell sports farce -- yes, another one -- misfires consistently. It is 1976 and Jackie Moon (Ferrell), the buffoonish owner of an American Basketball Association (ABA) franchise in Flint, Mich., is determined that his hapless team survive after NBA swallows up the ABA. "Semi-Pro" is full of crude sexual slang and humor, strong profanity, an explicit sexual situation, voyeurism, an infidelity theme, drug and toilet humor, drinking and smoking. Preferably no one under 17.
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